inventin' tha need to create extensions,not to mention lyrics leavin indentions//
tha mind is defined as an uncrossable line,but we still search in inturn for somethin to find//
i traveled long-distances,tryin to make strong-buisnesses,weres my witnesses,still want mistresses//
wishin-this life would cease,who signed tha lease,sometimes tha only escape is eternal peace//
when we sleep is determined-by-actions,learnin-by-factions, still burnin-from-mac-tens//
shells spread from heat,penetrate skin till blood leaks,now its war for weeks//
till tha block dies-down,cops screamin put down ya glock-and-lie-down,good thing i stashed tha five-pounds//
every kats got a diiferent out look,some work, some record,some sell,and others just COOK[cook coke]//
however u make your money its real as long as you make-it,never forget who u are and where u come from so never fake-it.

good:
vocabulary
flow
complexity
multies

bad:
structure
opening

Overall not a bad spit.

uppin^^^

Yo! you structure the lines just like me man... lol... check it out...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=78996
so you know this shit was definitily easy for me to read and find that flow in it...
Anyways, like I just said, shit had a pretty good flow, shit was short but it didn't seem unfinished, like if you stopped in the middle of it, know what I mean? so that was good, I was feeling the vocab too...

-1-

yo you had nice vocab, structure could use a lill work but it was good

uppin^^

nice flow like they said before just work on yo structure

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yea i was feelin it, the flow was aight, the vocab was good, the content was awesome, and the wordplay was great. i suggest u elevate wit the structure, but youll get better as u keep postin. so pretty good shit, just keep elevatin and postin.

uppin^^^^