People applaud him, get lost in, his words as evil is watching
While wearing a white collar to fight off the, demons that haunt him
Need this!? He’s got it, he spots the, good from his podium
Where people know they’ve sinned but come to him to show repent
It’s lonely in, his little world, where past favors would
Ruin your word, because of the rep of this bad neighborhood
Where crimes make the news, and the star spangled banner lies
Where you can cry a river that’ll get washed away by anger’s tides
Where crews banish minds, who’ll never get the best of sin
And where no one gives respect to god’s representitive
You can never win, but then again, this is made by their judgement
While lost souls crossroads that are paved with destruction
It ain’t great cause he’s bugging, that he’s left with the nuisance
Of running his life’s goal but no one respects what he’s doing
So at best, he’s losing his mind in a whirlwind of demons and sins
And what’s the point of living like this if everyone treats him like shit?
..
He’s the reverend of this bad neighbourhood church
No one respects him, so everyday he goes later and later to work
Our saviour’s his word, he says Jesus will release our blunder
But the congregation is made up of drug fiends and teenage mothers
He’s lost his feet, and he no longer believes that God will speak
And his loss is grief, trying to say what he was taught to preach
But he’s got to see that, there is no love and harmony
While this city is loading up their guns and armoury
Teenage kids are dealing hits, the danger’s at its fullest
As the gangs deliver death from silver chambers with a bullet
But this is the hood, there’s no hope to seek, or spoken peace
It’s just a hopeless scene that’s destroyed his hopeful dreams
And as this reverend tries his all, he keeps losing patience
While whites shoot black, and jews are shooting asians
It’s blooming hatred, and even today it strides as he prays at night
Trying to stay alive, but this noose of hate has frayed his mind
He’s down on his knees, praying to his Father who founds his beliefs
As he says "Please Father, just allow them some peace"
And God answers back 'Don’t worry, son, I can’t see that love’ll grow
So you can forget about Earth, I think it’s time you come back home'
..
Jesus died for our sins, he did it for the good of people
But his second coming showed that this world is full of evil
In the form of a reverend, he faced open weather
And proved that forbidden fruit always tastes so much better
No one paid him attention or respect, and it has lifted his shoulders
Cause it’s time he goes back home, his mission is over

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This was good, I mean an example some little kiddies running around should look at.
Gotta love the sleepers...oh wait, no you don't. Can't believe I'm the first to say something.

"Where you can cry a river that’ll get washed away by anger’s tides" - That was really good,

"But the congregation is made up of drug fiends and teenage mothers" - Saddly its true.

"And God answers back 'Don’t worry, son, I can’t see that love’ll grow" - You had forshadowing through out, some of which wasn't all that pronounced (which is good), and that line there, is so blatent, but on the other hand "son" doesn't necessarily mean ones 'son'.

"And proved that forbidden fruit always tastes so much better" - Give me an Amen! So true, great line.

Overall, Knucks great work. A really good story idea. Quite original.

I'm Upping For Him.

Damn you hoe's read this. Comment.

bare knuckles great piece man....very well written thought out ..the point is delivered accross very well...caught my attention throught the whole thing.........strong subject. Few who could bring it out like that........in my opinion.....9-10..Props

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MerK SquAd.

<center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center>

The composition of this piece was flawless. The topic has been done, but personifying the character(s) the way you did hinted at originality. As straight-forward as it was, the representations that you made were so perfectly worded that they were almost masked by wit. As I read back over it and piece things together, I get a chuckle or two! BWAH, I said chuckle! Anyway, very nice work! Lines that caught my attention are listed below


FLOW!


STRUCTURE!


PERFECTION!

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^you on the crack?
but for real dude, this shit was amazing. The only flaw I found was that you repeated that they didn't respect him various times.
Your flow was on point, your multies aere good, and your wordplay was amazing.
sorry for the rush reply, but I gotta go eat
Peace

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

that shit put open mic on fire dude. u blazed that shit, the topic was thought out, the concept was brought throughout the whole post, the vocab was good, the wordplay was hella good, and overall id rate it a 9-9.5/10. great shit homie.

it was original......the stucture was good and it picturised the whole piece but ive heard some of it before......not meaning you bitten but you made something played into something nice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,