an insight on thoughts i create, we re-late to those whove erased our fate//

politicians confused, keeps me wishin theyd loose, already petitioned to bruise, and thats what i choose//

tha news broke upon dons who lost ones, those who lost sons to gangstas who crossed guns//

spreadin shells like rain that fell on those devils, an only rebel elevated to another level cast out by pebbles//

i settle wit metal tucked into my pants, my bullets can dance then put u in a trance//

i prance through hills and abandoned-caves stranded-for-days, bring me out cause ive been plannin-this-phase//

its escape but tha stairs are rusty, smokes gettin dusty but my girl didnt trust-me, so i found her tha next day in rubbel it digusts-me//

blackin out from tha site of death, all that weed closin my chest, cant even take a breath//

hands cant be held steady, tired of tha bull shit you fed-me, so i sit cause im ready//

that and im feelin a little sick, cant believe your gone from my trip, i awake where i slipped//

now i got a concussion, my brain had an eruption, now im bustin rhymes while you suckin//

no touchin my rush-is quite nice like such-shit, it must-fit, for i touch-clits.

I LIKED THIS AND IM PICKY SO WHY IS THIS BEING SLEPT ON?
THATS FUCKED UP HOW AS M.C.'S WE CANT RESPECT EACH OTHERS TALENT. D.S. this was ill pop needs a lil work but you always elivate stay up twin.

This peice was pretty good, it was a good read i thought, you had pretty good flow, try to even the lines out to make it structured better, but it was a good peice overall i thought, keep dropping, and if you could check out my peice called "Losing Hope" thanks.

thanks for the replies.still uppin

uppin for this to get some replies.

^^what they said

this was def good to read
the flow made it easy to follow along and the rhyme scheme was very enjoyable

vocab was well placed

overall good job

if you would be so kind (slept on)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616