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..A New Breed of Femcee..
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-Rotary Heart-
IP:
How does one really define sadness..in a manner so truly sincere..?
By measure of all of one's the recently had-stress..or sobbing and shedding a tear? One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn.. Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return.. So we've learned....... A weight on my heart, strategically placed, so it seems to have stopped it from beating.. With my core growing sore, too hurtful to ignore, sometimes its a struggle just breathing. Such an overwhelming feeling, showing no signs of healing, seemingly an everlasting suffer.. So extremely detrimental, not just to my mental; everyday things increasingly get tougher. I try to stay sleeping as late as I can, for then i'm unconscious to despair.. unaware, of your absence, still stuck in a dream..at least I can see your face there. For when Im awake, every scene causes ache, and fore holds some long lost sentiment.. which reminds me of you, and the love i once knew, and erodes my heart like sediment. But the nights are the worst, for there in the darkness, your missing is made the most evident.. I think of where you are, but more so where you aren't, and it only inclines my impediment. and tears fall until ive unknowingly drifted to a state of solemn full slumber.. wet tissues in hand, and issues at grand, i awake to a heart even number. And in the quiet of the eve, i silently grieve; fight to keep my deep cries under wraps.. But alone, and unknown, I dont quiet my hearts tone; unrestrained, I've even collapsed, dropping everything, falling in the middle of the floor, to bawl like a child in a tantrum.. Letting all that I'm feeling release then and there; the screaming and sobbing, my anthem. From a place deep inside, a million tears cried, all the heartache that I had concealed, so abruptly revealed that a soundproof booth, sealed, could no sooner my deafening sobs shield. Almost wishing you removed of my memory and heart, but i know soon enough i'd regret to.. But I cant help but think how easily i'd forget you, or unmiss you.. if i'd never met you........ One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn, Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return. But its been raining a while now, and still my Sun isnt near, Thus i fear, that my happiness will not reapper..and my symptoms are much more severe.. I suffer from something far more intense, which causes, inside me, this burning.. For something so vital has escaped my grasp, and indeed may not be returning.. . . . The loss of a soul mate, a best friend, a lover.. A sadness with a cure i've yet to uncover. ©2003 DaGyrlRemarqabL All rights reserved. Ah..easily one of the least favorite pieces I've ever written..maybe because i was so extremely miserable when I wrote it. More for therapy than anything else....Thanks to anyone who took the time.... |
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