i write poetry reflected, in verbalised rhyme-ology,
advancement in words, as change Speed of technology/
drop legendary notations, seen through glass perspex,
love all elements, graf, b boy, mc and mix-in-decks/
your incoherence, is intereference, like a blind mans vision,
intricate repetition, drop stereotype with more ambition/
mental note taken, but the understanding seems illusive,
path expands in to many splits, like a newspaper exclusive/
lines lyrically astounding, influenced by GODS SON,
Meth, BIg, 2pac, Dmx, etc, Talib, Jay and Big Pun/
created as ghetto voice, expansion to hearts of willing,
credit to those who named before, I bring next level billing/
16 pieces of lasting imagery, in bottled style text,
take example of effect, higher level, like vocab wrecked/
ILLtelligent, ILLTELLECTUAL, pattern appears, just PLAIN ILL,
most descripitive thought process since, QB'S finest at WINDOW SILL/

PEACE

bitches....feed on this....

aight holmes, first, no one is ever gonna feed off of that verse, thats not an insult, but i think people would rather think of there own shit, instead of steel an idea off a newb, but anywho back to the post, it was actually pretty good i thought, the flow fell off a little but it made for a pretty good read, the wordplay was good, i thought the vocab was ok, i just think that u could use some more multis in ur verse, i dunno if its just me, but whatever, that was pretty good, keep droppin homie.

yo if u have the time can u peep my new post?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558
thanx

peace.....

Yeah this was a alright peice i thought, decent read, you had good wordplay, and you flow was pretty good, vocab was alright, try adding some more multies, but overall it was a good peice, keep dropping

aight...well first off thanks for the feed, don't know if i am feelin what "gotaloveforap" is sayin...as i am not a newbie...just a newbie on this site.....i felt i had enough multis in there, maybe i could add a few in....but whutever.....thanks for takin sometime

WOW......20,000 PEOPLE....I AIN;'T GIVIN FEED UNLESS I GET FED....HAHAHA

thought the content was good, along wit the vocab, but i just wasn't feelin ya flow, it started good, but in places just fizzed
overall i thought it was a pretty averare drop..........Holla!!!!!!!!

ye tha flow did start strong and surged near the end.... this is true... the only thing that i saw that was really hampering the lines was the lists.... they only kinda worked... (didnt like etc in the middle of the one line)

make sure you don't throw in similes for the sake of rhyming....

i didn't feel "path expands in to many splits, like a newspaper exclusive"... maybe you can xplain to me what this really means...

overall it was a 6.6/10 and oh yea don't listen to any chumps who tell you to use more "internals" or "multies" so you can "elevate" that shit is full on WHACK

{Peace}

__________________

yah it was alright, could use some work but over it was good,

straight drop need to elevate tho peace

ok....thanks for feed...will try and repay favour whenever i peep the site and see your names up aight....well to those that actually gave me some feedback...

still feelin like its beyond some of you e.g:

"mental note taken, but the understanding seems illusive,
path expands in to many splits, like a newspaper exclusive"

that sums the whole feed back up appropriatley....to magnificent that means.....when i drop a metaphor, line or similie....people think about it, relate to it, and feel different things then to other people, using the similie that when you get newspapers having exclusives....the passed news is not always the sames as the original...

DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW....I HAVE A DEEPER THOUGHT PROCESS THEN IT SEEMS....

you're flows a bit off in some parts, vocab strong, creativity strong, alright multis, metas and similes high


7.9/10

jes work on yer flow

good drop tho
your style seems foreignish too say (dont take offense)

but the way u do ur shit sounds like some australian/uk or where type shit.....

oh btw, peep this open mic

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83469