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10-17-03, 07:34 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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lost
IP: 6236 079F
something off the top of my head...
I sit, wandering in complete darkness, reaching for answers, drawing the outlines of my character. Casting light over the caverns of my heart, only to be wrapped, in despair. and then like a candle in the wind... pitch black... It isn't fair... but then again, life isn't. Soon, i will find an escape, through the ends of my fingertips, or the confines of my soul. i will break free, find the key to my heart, and find... me....... |
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10-19-03, 11:05 AM | #2 | |||||||
Spectator
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IP: 1A70 9542
This is rather beautiful Chasin, simplistic writing at its best. And simplistic isnt an insult believe me... I like that you didnt feel the need to dress this up with intrical rhyme schemes and long winded words.. The emotion still shines through.
i will break free, find the key to my heart, and find... me....... Nice ending, great read.. Thanks
__________________
Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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10-19-03, 09:12 PM | #3 | |||||||
Banned 4 biting
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
Try longer and more complex lines
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10-20-03, 01:37 AM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: FCDC 4558
thanks tourniquet...im glad u can see the emotion in there, not many can..i'll be lookin' out for ur work
i'll try to work on that redragon |
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