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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-08-03, 12:41 PM
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#1
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Flyweight
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untitled
IP: 6236 079F
[color=royal blue][size=large]Know what it feels like to locked up inside,
to hide away from the pain, that drains and stains the soul, The untold was sold to all the newspaper stands, THE DARK MAN, & his hands that shook it all, watch it fall and slip, as you realize reality, Snake eyes it has to be, live life and dont let life live you, THE TRUTH, will set you free inside your mind, only time can tell what hell you continue to live, just give because love will heal the saddness that you feel, If you listen you can hear it The Lord, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, you can't see but you see what the Lord has given to me, all ten fingers and all ten toes, only the Lord knows what nobody knows, when it rains it pours, I don't have an umbrella but I do have the Lord, when the sun shines, I find time to thank him for it, I sit down to write rhymes, I thank him for it, if I should live life and wake up in the morning, I'll thank him for it, each breath that I breathe, I see the storn lifting, up high I see it rise, I see the fog shift, sometimes I know I dont try to be a good person, but then I wonder why nobody can hear me hurtin, it sounds so loud to me, it rings throughout my ears, I think I start to bleed, and I feel the salty tears, if I was I and you were you, we would still be here, amoung the forbidden and forgotten, amoung the poison fruit, with wings and angel eyes, I'll pray for you and you, and hope that in our next life it'll be easy and happy too[/COLOR][/SIZE]
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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3> <BR> <BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I> |
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10-08-03, 02:54 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 9AA0 AB03
ill piece ma, vocab was tight, imagery was tight, structure was tight, all in all this wasnt that bad for a newbie, keep spittin ma.~1~
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10-08-03, 03:20 PM
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#3
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BANNED
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IP: 7AA4 D75E
not really sure if im feeling this or not theres something missing and tho i cant quite pin point as of yet i soon will
id like to state that the blue font didnt do you justice and your structure was nice short n easy to follow the theme wa sjumpy but the parts where it was stable was good id suggest adding some more VIVID images that will make this peice JUMP out at the redaer nah mean? |
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10-10-03, 01:11 PM
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#4
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Flyweight
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IP: 399E F0FD
thanks hazy, i didnt really revise this one b/c i kinda wrote it
when i went to jail for something messed. The charges nullified and now i am sue'n the state so hard they wont know how to sit down. So the content had special meaning i suppose.
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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3> <BR> <BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I> |
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10-11-03, 02:09 AM
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#5
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Spectator
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IP: 1A70 9542
Interesting read.. I got the impression towards the end, this was a Goodbye of sorts, Im not sure if thats a goodbye to someone specific, or an old way of life, or past friends, or simply having made Peace... I just get the feeling like you ve been kicked down to the ground, and having been lost a long time, finally found your feet again and now stand tall. Bravely dusting off the past in order to see a brighter future.. A re awakening of your perspective if you will..
Either way, it is a good read. Thanks.
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Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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