*This was somethin i wrote in Rapworlds, so some parts u may not know wat im talkin about, other than that, its a normal drop*


Why must be endure the pain, seems the pain never stops
Ridin as the clock tocs waitin for the return of Pac
Like Divac, we slam hard, but in return, an elbow smack
The government resembles Jack which goes to show da boss slacks
Jill tumblin after, Bush's short reign is soon to be a wrap
I would represent the black, but life'll shorten & that's a fact
A comic said it right, a president can't be a black
Chris Rock made it a joke, but behind it was a fact
Women want respect but can't keep their legs closed
Men want a fam. but can't stay away from da hoes
Pac and Bigs beef, now diseased, went into history
A 3-Ring star encounters pussy, commit adultery, no victory
Whats wrong with hiphop today, answer that my niggaz
The game is full of haters, wrong move, they pull da trigga
Cheaters in the streets, like spades, watch the re-niggers
Its a mind game, a clique can go from 6 to 0 figuraz
What's wit wannabes around, Lil' Persy, u aint down
Show me empty pockets, wat u bought, i found on da ground
JaRule, why u beefin, nine shots the nigga took
You a cheesy lame, a nigga could murder u wit a hook
Now Eminem, ya crazy kid,ya rhymes crown u da white don
But some ya lines is jibberish & ya life was told different by ya moms
Now, Jay-Z, you went from RAW, to nine, then to five
Compared to ya weak album, Nas murdered u wit "Last Real Nigga Alive"
Now in my opinion, the last verse murdered ya whole diss song
Prolly cuz u droppin a double album...well thats just wrong
First, Chris is ya man, then u say u better than BIG
No that don't make me a stan, just pointin it out, the fact is
Im way past the past, delt wit failures, Dougie, Paul, & Tyke
For the record, 1 was a pussy, a b***h, and an ugly dyke
Let's see, Dougie & Paula couldn't rap, Tyke was on my dick
Talk s**t like a broke trick, neva onced hit wit a diss
Cloaked behind an MC, I won't mention any names
The dyke was blind, give him a ticket, he couldnt see game
Now his man on the other hand, he battled like a determined fan
As a pressured King, I choked, he boasts, I revived, Tyke ran
D***, I spit like im holdin the crown, cuz i was destined fa the throne
Descending after the realist thug poets, Pac, BIG, & Nasir Jones
Known as MC Illest, earlier when RW was just a freestyle gig
Rafer Alston of rap, make way for da BLACK WIZ

*Recognize...recognize.....recognize(fades out)*

holla at da kid

^

Overall, it was a nice drop.

Strong points: I liked your lines about the commercial rapper, jay z, eminem, pac, etc.

Weak points: Even though it's just an open mic, you could have thrown in some punchlines. Also, use multis to help it flow better, the flow was a little choppy.

Nice flow, though. Keep it up kid.

that wasnt bad homie, i was feelin ur flow the most though, u had some nice wordplay and vocab, ur content and topic were both original, and i caught on to what u were sayin pretty easily, but i dont suggest u recycle ur shit, u gotta keep new shit comin, so ill be lookin for ya kid.

yo if u have the time can u hit this battle up wit an honest vote?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...4656#post834656
itd be much appreciated.

peace......

coo', but to c0zmick, punch lines, why?? Its not like it was a diss.

thanks anywayz to both for da feedback, and i'll hit the battle up later

yeah overall a nice drop but u need to keep elevatin but the vocab and wordplay were good hey return da favour check out the battle between gbacd and yog_dogg

that was a pretty good flow for a newb but u need to elevate but he thats okay i see potential in ur flows so keep droppin

i'll agree with gotaloveforrap though

thanks fo da feedback