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Old 10-14-03, 06:10 PM   #1
DthsMissingAngel
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Post Remember and Revenge

IP: C1DA C961

First post, dont hate.


I sit here and remember.
I remember what you did to me.
I remember how you ruined my life.
How you make me scared to leave my house.
How scared I am still to be touched, yelled at, even kissed.
I try and forget that one day.
The one day that changed my perspective.
You ruined my life and I hate you for it.
Just for a quick fix.
Just because your girl wouldn't please you.
How could you do that?
How could you hit me?
How could you force yourself on me?
Am I some random girl or were you following me?
You ruined my life and you deserve all punishment.
The worst punishment is for you to live.
To go through what I did.
Make you feel the fear and the pain.
You deserve to die but you feeling that amount of pain is worse. Finding you is a task I dedicate my life to.
I dont know where you live, but I will find out.
The image of your face is burned into my head.
There is no way it will leave.
What you did can never be forgotten or forgiven.
Your day will come when I take my revenge.

Last edited by DthsMissingAngel : 10-14-03 at 08:46 PM.
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Old 10-15-03, 08:34 AM   #2
Smooth JT
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Deep peice. Unfortunatly this is a part of everyday life. Girls being raped by guys that can't get any and want a "quick fix". Emotion was felt well. good drop. it's all love spect, JT
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Old 10-15-03, 09:30 AM   #3
MoparMaddness
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This is a piece that is full of emotion. Full of the hatred for the one who did this. There is a deep stream of emotions flowing through this like a wild river rapid. Great piece Angel. Keep writing gurl. Upmost respect.

MM
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Old 10-15-03, 09:41 AM   #4
filed
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this was a good piece, full of emotion mostly hate, but you did a good job venting it. its a topic thats so sad and has been done alot, but everytime it has a new view or angle something new to make ppl think. and yours did just that its gross to think of ppl that can do such things, its hard to belive some one actualy can do something like that, but it happens every where. nice piece my love.

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Old 10-15-03, 02:04 PM   #5
Madd Preacher
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From: BELLSIDE...THATS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW MOTHER FUCKER!!...~OrIgInAl~RaPbAtTlE~
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ok...

sentimentals...you had a lot of energy in most parts, but in others it died down...

to elevation:

this was is a simplistic piece, and that being the fact that this type of poetry structure is done over and over again....
to repetetive structure you have to come at it in a unique style and not the same based story line as many others.....

vocab and werdplay are fine...just work a little bit more on it though


igido...
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Old 10-15-03, 05:39 PM   #6
DiverseSyndicate
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yea this was ill, very real life type shit, happens everyday, its mainly tha hardest gettin over it i guess, keep ya head up though, nice vocab, mad emotion, very nice piece.keep droppin.~1~
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