One Reason

Is there a reason that my heart inside is crushed?
Lies hate and deciet pretain to it much,
i guess a bit of lust contributed its piece,
thats why im sitting here staring at my love, and empty sea.
I throw pebbles in it, and pretend the ripples grow,
i know this sea of love within me somwhere still flows,
its just hidden from everyone including me.
I yearn for love once more, one like the deep blue sea.

What is the reason for my heart having broke?
Was it because i like solitude and the occasional smoke?
A toke of the pipe started silent fights that did damage,
but no matter what weight was thrown at me i accepted and managed.
To the point of madness, am i losing my grip?
Suprised im alive, that i exist w/o slit wrists.
This cant be real, due to faith, my lifes prolonged,
staying in a place where i know i dont belong.

Theres only one reason that my heart has cracked.
That reason is me, my mind and heart werent intact.
Just a glimpse ata spreadsheet, look at the facts, its plain clear,
I backed off only because love is my main fear.
Im layn on my bed feeling dreary and back arched,
eyes parched, writin poems of love and corruption on parchment in the dark.
waiting for a spark, to ignite inside and spread like a flame,
may god have mercy on my soul, and save me from my shame.

i did this last class period... didnt put too much time into it anyways lemme know what yall think.