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10-29-03, 06:33 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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SS: Empty casket
IP: EE88 2083
this one is kind of personal, about a year ago i was in a car crash and two of my mates were killed,
dont wanna go over it in detail but that is where i got my ideas from for this piece, i remember slippin in and out of conscienceness and bein told my friends were dead but it not registering, Empty Casket formed friendships ripped apart, spirits forced to depart, will one day be reunited, and happy feelings reignited, splittin headache,try to look around but cant open eyes, voices in my head...fire sirens and womens cries, whats goin on?totally confused,look around bemused, body battered and bruised...feel worn out and used, last memory...chillin in the car with my boys, the rest is totally blank...a large black void, howd i get here?wheres rich,steve and the rest? fears startin to spread,mind in a state of unrest, last moments appearing slow,events recurring in my mind, police chase,couldnt evade,swerve to miss,hit from behind, shit,realisation our car crashed, cant feel my feet, reality hits,dead or alive?either way stranded up shits creek, voices talkin,not listening,homeboys dead is what i envision, "wheres the others?"...feeling drains away like division, facial expression explains more than 1000 words ever could, crying...she utters something about a massive loss of blood, pray to my patron saint,with god i might soon acquaint, rush of blood to the head...startin to feel faint...., a year later,memories still as vivid,as if ive jus lived it, survived but still a victim,lost friendships that were tightly knit, discovered faith,spent the rest of my days legit,studing the holy writ, till the day we meet again,waitin for me will be an empty casket, |
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10-29-03, 07:02 PM | #2 | ||||
That's Right...I'm White
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IP: A5E0 A6A4
This was deep, i felt the emmotion that you put into this.
the vocab was good and so was the flow i enjoyed reading this, it was a good piece. my resp peace |
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10-30-03, 07:59 AM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: EE88 2083
uppin
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10-30-03, 08:03 AM | #4 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: B89D 4D65
nice, peace like the other guy said it was an emotional piece.
nice topic an flow was on point nice drop keep up the good work |
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10-30-03, 08:53 AM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B157 F101
nice drop...flow was on point...vocab was decent...content was good, stayed on topic...really felt the emotion behind it...it was a deep peice and i enjoyed reading it...keep dropping kid...
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10-30-03, 03:37 PM | #6 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: EE88 2083
up....
drop some links and ill check out your open mics |
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10-30-03, 03:50 PM | #7 | ||||
R.B's Demigod
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
on the real thats the deepest thing i've heard in a minute its sad what happened to your crew man sorry for the loss, but your words was on point, and the detail and flow was exceptional,id give it a 10.
Rate my first post on open mic
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<marquee>FUCK YOU!!! YEAH YOU BITCH</marquee> <center> </center> slept on battle http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105181 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113861 |
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10-30-03, 04:00 PM | #8 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: AD26 5887
dark ish nigga sorry hear yur G's parted
yo dun good emotions in this ish fuh realz vocab flow juss nice drop stay up |
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10-30-03, 04:40 PM | #9 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 96FF 1751
this was a real emotion felt piece, nice imagery, well layed out, it flowed well, good vocab, good structure, rhyme scheme was tight,pretty much this piece was tight,keep spittin and elevatin.~1~
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10-31-03, 09:13 AM | #10 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: EE88 2083
up...
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10-31-03, 10:32 AM | #11 | ||||||
New to RB
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feedback
IP: C4E0 8FF4
yo i feel this piece alot of my peeps were taken by car accidents, shit my cousin, best friend, two of my road dogs, and an ex-girlfriend. Its funny you dont even think about what could happen evertime yo ass goes in the car and yet so many peeps still drive drunk as fuck (shit im still workin out an OWI among other things.. grr seems like life is one big court case afta anotha) anyways.. good piece you have elevated since last time I posted a reply so props on that
Yo but if you get the chance drop some feed on my latest No Love
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~?~?~?~?~?~~?~?~?~?~?~? If ya get the chance Drop some Feedback on these drops:<br> <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=815041#post815041">I hate bitchs keystyle</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=85355">Aint no drug got a hold of me</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=88860">No Love</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=90057">Rules of the Game</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92570">Dirty Hippie</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92613">R.I.P Crossroads</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92798">Learn about it</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=986562#post986562">Valet Parking [keystyle]</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=104102">Tribulations</a>. <br> <br><hr> <a href="http://www.geocities.com/lulong420/handbook.html">Handbook to all thats fun"> |
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10-31-03, 11:59 AM | #12 | ||||
Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
This was deep nicely expressed, ...some nice vocab..good flow, and some tite aspects in it..
I enjoyed this piece, ..nice read.. RoA ...Pz
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Fuck you |
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10-31-03, 12:22 PM | #13 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 0680 3F6A
i read this at RnR
not bad. deserves to be upped. . |
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