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Old 10-29-03, 06:33 PM   #1
Rob D
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SS: Empty casket

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this one is kind of personal, about a year ago i was in a car crash and two of my mates were killed,
dont wanna go over it in detail but that is where i got my ideas from for this piece,
i remember slippin in and out of conscienceness and bein told my friends were dead but it not registering,



Empty Casket



formed friendships ripped apart,
spirits forced to depart,
will one day be reunited,
and happy feelings reignited,

splittin headache,try to look around but cant open eyes,
voices in my head...fire sirens and womens cries,
whats goin on?totally confused,look around bemused,
body battered and bruised...feel worn out and used,
last memory...chillin in the car with my boys,
the rest is totally blank...a large black void,
howd i get here?wheres rich,steve and the rest?
fears startin to spread,mind in a state of unrest,
last moments appearing slow,events recurring in my mind,
police chase,couldnt evade,swerve to miss,hit from behind,
shit,realisation our car crashed, cant feel my feet,
reality hits,dead or alive?either way stranded up shits creek,
voices talkin,not listening,homeboys dead is what i envision,
"wheres the others?"...feeling drains away like division,
facial expression explains more than 1000 words ever could,
crying...she utters something about a massive loss of blood,
pray to my patron saint,with god i might soon acquaint,
rush of blood to the head...startin to feel faint....,


a year later,memories still as vivid,as if ive jus lived it,
survived but still a victim,lost friendships that were tightly knit,
discovered faith,spent the rest of my days legit,studing the holy writ,
till the day we meet again,waitin for me will be an empty casket,
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Old 10-29-03, 07:02 PM   #2
Verbatim
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This was deep, i felt the emmotion that you put into this.
the vocab was good and so was the flow
i enjoyed reading this, it was a good piece.

my resp
peace
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Old 10-30-03, 07:59 AM   #3
Rob D
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uppin
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Old 10-30-03, 08:03 AM   #4
frozen with heat
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nice, peace like the other guy said it was an emotional piece.
nice topic an flow was on point nice drop
keep up the good work
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Old 10-30-03, 08:53 AM   #5
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nice drop...flow was on point...vocab was decent...content was good, stayed on topic...really felt the emotion behind it...it was a deep peice and i enjoyed reading it...keep dropping kid...
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Old 10-30-03, 03:37 PM   #6
Rob D
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up....

drop some links and ill check out your open mics
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Old 10-30-03, 03:50 PM   #7
Da_Killa_Kid
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on the real thats the deepest thing i've heard in a minute its sad what happened to your crew man sorry for the loss, but your words was on point, and the detail and flow was exceptional,id give it a 10.

Rate my first post on open mic
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Old 10-30-03, 04:00 PM   #8
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dark ish nigga sorry hear yur G's parted
yo dun good emotions in this ish fuh realz
vocab flow juss nice drop stay up
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Old 10-30-03, 04:40 PM   #9
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this was a real emotion felt piece, nice imagery, well layed out, it flowed well, good vocab, good structure, rhyme scheme was tight,pretty much this piece was tight,keep spittin and elevatin.~1~
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Old 10-31-03, 09:13 AM   #10
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up...
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Old 10-31-03, 10:32 AM   #11
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feedback

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yo i feel this piece alot of my peeps were taken by car accidents, shit my cousin, best friend, two of my road dogs, and an ex-girlfriend. Its funny you dont even think about what could happen evertime yo ass goes in the car and yet so many peeps still drive drunk as fuck (shit im still workin out an OWI among other things.. grr seems like life is one big court case afta anotha) anyways.. good piece you have elevated since last time I posted a reply so props on that

Yo but if you get the chance drop some feed on my latest No Love
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Old 10-31-03, 11:59 AM   #12
Edicius
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This was deep nicely expressed, ...some nice vocab..good flow, and some tite aspects in it..

I enjoyed this piece, ..nice read..

RoA ...Pz
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Old 10-31-03, 12:22 PM   #13
Baron God
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i read this at RnR
not bad.
deserves to be upped. .
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