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Old 11-03-03, 03:56 PM   #1
filed
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proof of an angel

IP: 4427 B15C

Her name is engraved in a thick propped stone,
long lasting proof her soul walked this torn land,
that she was loved far beyond the heaven stars,
and that God missed her so much he called her home.

What this cold standing stone doesnt tell a passer-by,
is that she would paint every nail a different color,
so that she could enjoy them all instead of one,
and deep here the most genuine child peacefully lies.

It doesnt tell of her anglic voice that still sings,
nor if the the voice that told me stories of frogs,
the voice that lifted up my buried heart everytime,
in this house her echos are heard for here she clings.

No words can begin to explain what kind of life she lived,
a torn apart and mixed matched life was hers to claim,
a back breaking setting yet she lived it with a smile,
and although shes far away i still feel the help she gives....

................ and how i miss her..................

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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Old 11-03-03, 07:40 PM   #2
ChasinReveries
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this was lovely...

i enjoyed the emotion and the respect and beauty the u potrayed this girl in...she seemed absolutely lovely...

this was a beautiful quatrain -

It doesnt tell of her anglic voice that still sings,
nor if the the voice that told me stories of frogs,
the voice that lifted up my buried heart everytime,
in this house her echos are heard for here she clings.

actually fuck it...the whole thing was just beautiful...

there's nothing else to say...

my condolences...

cheers!!
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Old 11-03-03, 08:24 PM   #3
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You carved out a lot of emotion with this. Emotions that were mellow yet hard hitting. You didn't seem to emphasise it too much. You just told it, and it came through naturally.

I dunno why. But i spotted some parts which could've made this piece even more resounding and better written. Maybe it's cos i was reading it from both perspectives..writer and the subject matter - but both emotionally. Cos the subject itself is one that is fairly close to me. But i wont point them out. As they are trivial and this piece is what it is to me.

...resp..
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Old 11-03-03, 08:34 PM   #4
Chase
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I think this was very touching short of child like but very touching
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Old 11-05-03, 10:12 AM   #5
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I really enjoyed this reading.... it was very full of emotion and it
actually struck a chord and made me very sad while reading....
you had really good structure... vocab was on point for what you
need to get out.... your imagery was great it really painted a
picture of a young girl who was such an angel...I give you 4 stars
lol.....Keep Writing.
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