replied to...chemist keymy$t(KeMy$t)...or however u spell it, wordperfects shit and...(Masta C)that collab featuring com....

not really finished....

eh w/e....first drop here thats not an audio....wha wha what!!!!


although i give off solidified vibes
inside i try to certify lifes lies
that in all actuality cant be
compromised loss of pride
i guess i dont know much
just things and stuff
i was so damn sure
i could not be touched
i would not be of
those
droning clones
phoning homes
disowning poems
all knowing tone
my voice
captivated an audience
u could hardly sense
the hate invigorated
by the choice I...
-Obvious end i interupt that line for a sec the road is set
i travel it detour unravelin explanation sidetrack
im babblin about the right & what that age ol adage meant
only god can judge me, too bad i dont know that
...the choice i made go ahead quote that i wrote that
so you can show that, i really want you to hate me(a start)*
now
you can designate the space where you replace me(your heart)
friends before females but after family people brandin me
for my use of profanity, loose understanding sees
the misinterpretation of a good man slash emcee
i'd rap for food but only if i hafta g

---what are life's lies, the ones that cause the corruption that you hide---

well...

Love is elusive obtrusive
not defined
but very intrusive
alls fair in Love
Its war
Other emotions are excluded
security diluted
mistrust sweet talk'll
get u through it
looted, Love'll leave ya empty handed, a bandit
yeah pick up yer soul and pride watch out for the glass that shattered
you know
all that mattered
when she calls to say hi( i knew she missed me )you get all flattered
hearts bruised batterd and all you have is the latter
will you climb up it elevate from it nah you'll fall faster...

*personal line that no one SHOULD get...

damn i need to even out my bars and stuff...
and finish this too...

__________________
univerSaL hiatus

hey you!
your worthless like pre-owned autos...
hahaha

PNEUMATIC...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/saltheking.htm

overall a good drop had decent flow but structure needs work don't put so many short lines it makes it hard to read. Other than that tho pretty good drop if it is ur first text open mic i'd like to hear some audio sometime anywayz thanx for the response aight peace
-Kemy$t

i agree that the short lines, make it harder to get a good flow, but once i got into it, i thought it was a pretty decent read, prefered the first verse to the second, but they were both alright, i would work on ya structure a bit though, not a bad drop, keep at it........

i liked it personally line length pends how it is spit and given a good beat it would be a nice drop holla