Across a tarnished lake i skim stones,
The intrecate patterns of algae shape futre
The Reason i'm here is to shake bones,
Your just information processed by computer

In-line, trobled times bellow into the light,
The Exposure Can be painfull or wonderous
Lurking, silently creeping in control of the night
Repercussions ripple and belt down..thunderous

In a blunder and a flash i hide as warmth is raised
And in todays society still i'm rampant and unfound
While false hopes and prophecies are forever praised
No love or gaurdion is watching or surrounds

I'm non-existant, you made me this way,
A concoction of fear and trembles keeps me respiring
I know i'm bad , but in my line it pays
You only doubt, because its myself your admiring......

Feedback Plllllllllllzzzzz

interesting
different approach
different topic
some parts seemed to linger away from the point a little bit
try staying more consistent
and some lines i didnt get, like there wasnt a clear connection to the message you were tying to portray
other than that though, this piece was alright
nice drop, keep elevatin

__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."