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Old 11-03-03, 07:58 PM   #1
Chase
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Secret sounds of Love

IP: 63FD 22DA

As my mind wanders it wonders how it would be

Curiosity killed that cat but satisfaction brought him back and I know you would do that for me

The man with out a face, just a voice and yet I still want to touch taste and feel

All fantasies I want to make real

Lust started from a conversation where loneliness was healed

Belonging to another holds us back, but when I talk to that other my mind falls off track

There you enter the mystery I live

The one thing I want but cannot have, and to get anything I would give

I close my eyes and imagine how your hands would caress my body

I bite my lips and touch spots I want you to be

Try to make my self feel the way I know you will when I turn you and I to we

My first night of dishonesty I want to spend with you, what ever we do I know it a be worth it I feel it in my bones

I can touch the heat and hear the moans

I know it in my heart, it will be impossible to stop anything I start

Sounds of Fire and passion compatible in every way

I plan to let you have me from the dark to day

Open my eyes warm and wet, I get all this from a man I never met




To: a guy named Greg
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Old 11-03-03, 09:25 PM   #2
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upen
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Old 11-03-03, 10:08 PM   #3
.:LadySage:.
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nice twist at the end i have to say
the begining of this piece didnt really go with the ending, i think it would have been better if you just stuck with the "secret sounds of love"
too many OTHER details mess up the true effect and meaning of the piece..just a tip
some lines were really longer than others, and that sometimes messes up the flow
you could have gotten more complex, and upped the vocab a bit
BUT...in some places i can relate
i know what it feels like to want someone you cant have,
this was a nice read, i liked it
keep elevatin
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{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding
Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."
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Old 11-04-03, 12:19 PM   #4
Chase
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this is one of those rare pieces that have to be read in order to get the full afect. I need to pick another Title though cuz I don't like tha one I picked
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Destance my self to Feel
My life is an oxymoran
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Old 11-04-03, 04:16 PM   #5
.:LadySage:.
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it's alright how it is now
but a more effective one will be even better
__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding
Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."
Send a message via AIM to .:LadySage:.   Reply With Quote
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