For those that have known me on this board for a long time would know I've written about some messed up stuff. I of course sought to change that long ago and become positive instead of negative. Well that is bull, because old habits die hard.

So in the style of commercialized mainstream scheiße with the subject matter of my old school poetry reminiscent of things like Maiming Magdelene, I present to you:

Beautiful Thing

I lay between your legs and I'm twisting your mind
And what do I find? I find that I'm blind
I lay between your legs and I'm twisting your mind
And what do I find? I find that your not kind
Enough to ever remember the things that I told you
So for that you act all confused when I scold you
I stop trying to mold you and I let you be free
And this means nothing to me except the possibility
That you could be between my legs twisting my soul
Oh why you feel cold? Hey baby why you feel so cold?
Is it because the sex, has been with a cadaver?
It's because that she's not moving is the reason that I'm mad at her
The reason that her hugs, they seem so forced
The reason it takes so much trouble to contort
And to come up with a retort from her response
To respond with a response against her taunts

I force myself between your ears and I'm raping your mind
And what do I find? I find that your blind
I force myself between your ears and I'm raping your mind
And what do I find? I the find the light will not shine
On any of us with the sexual morals
Too many debates and too many quarrels
To define acceptability, to find responsibility
To find that none of us even have the ability
To ever rape the willing, it's just less fun that way
Nothing left to say except I value your opinion
Even though I'd gag you I still won't smack you
I may treat you like a cumbucket but I won't drag you
Through all the misery and all the pain I suffer
I look at you and think "True mercy'd be just to snuff her."
And so I grab you... what am I trying to do
Sex is a beautiful thing

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

Whooo, that's all that comes to mind... something definatly blunt about that but at the same time you're showing a side of yourself to us within crule words. No joke the 2 guys beside me stopped and read that peice too. It's stunning, to hear truth that's so vulger and against what society tells us is morally "right". It was a trip to read some of the interesting things that come out of a deep mind, a truely interesting mind, and read. Peace

The twisting conflict was what got me.

I do think sexual behaviour can help explore alot about human nature. Because of course, sex is such a raw thing of humanity. An interesting insight into parts of psyche. And how it all forms into society...how much does one supress? How do they vent it? Is that why they do THAT?!...i dunno..i'm just going off on something else.

To be beautifully ugly. And vice-versa. In such raw and even at times innocent extremes. As well as the middle part (?)...To an extent, appreciated...

..resp..

I can relate to this...many times i think people lose touch of there
selves while trying to find someone else.... what you wrote kinda
sounds like the game men and women play in a relationship...
once things go bad they just do mean and vengeful things b/c
they feel they cant get out.

"I lay between your legs and I'm twisting your mind
And what do I find? I find that I'm blind
I lay between your legs and I'm twisting your mind
And what do I find? I find that your not kind"

this seems to be the strength to your piece... it lets on about the
mystery of what exactly you could be doin to twist a mind...


"I stop trying to mold you and I let you be free
And this means nothing to me except the possibility
That you could be between my legs twisting my soul
Oh why you feel cold? Hey baby why you feel so cold?"


i really like these lines but the last one doesn't really stand up to
the others....


"I force myself between your ears and I'm raping your mind
And what do I find? I find that your blind
I force myself between your ears and I'm raping your mind
And what do I find? I the find the light will not shine"


i liked the touch with the use of the phrase "raping your mind"
but im no so sure that the ears part has the kind of "force" as
raping your mind had... but the first part leads you to believe
its about sex... until you say your raping the mind... which is
or could be worse...

down side is you didnt really stay with same rhyme scheme
throughout the entire piece... but it didnt really hurt it that much
its still a good piece...and worth the read.. Keep Writing.

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The title and lyrics really threw me off until tha last part of course.

-Even though I'd gag you I still won't smack you
I may treat you like a cumbucket but I won't drag you-

crazy metaphors in there (if they mean wut I think they mean).Anyway homegirl above me pretty much broke it down.Ill piece,Stay ^
-Avi

Thanks everyone for the replys part.

As for the mind/ears line, think of it this way: If I was to rape your mind, I'd shove my dick between your ears.

It also works on another level in the sense that for many women sex happens between the ears, in their mind. To rape that, I wouldn't have to even touch them. It's sort of wanting the ability, since I lack it, to be able to sexualty gratify a woman with mere words. Except, just like the rest of the peice, it stops being gratification and it turns into rape.

Honestly... I re-read this peice... and I got the image of a female bard adventurer going into an ogre's cave and having her neck snapped.

Again, thanks for the replys. Much appreciated.

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

I'd say thats a real kiss of death...