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Old 11-06-03, 11:01 PM   #1
Sublime D
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Read This Quick

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i know this gonan be deleted, jsu want to get quick results one time thing..one
: mad genius, more potential than a fetus, im a rebel leader, leading the faction, battling negative racial interraction, over taxing my mind to find sharp answers for tough times, a btiing word to chew through tough hides, mad pride, my formula to survive, take what i need from who i defeat before i porceed, so i that much better to unfetter the teather holdin our peopel in stormy weather, i saw a vision of fate met her, she todl me my destiny and i showed my beretta, i said i see the greatness predicted and ill still do better
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Old 11-06-03, 11:03 PM   #2
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yo that was tough, i don't know but ur flow was nice, ur thoughts n shit was welll put out... YOUR FUCKING MESSAGE WAS WELL SAID....
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Old 11-06-03, 11:10 PM   #3
Sublime D
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whoa

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i don't even knwo if i can critique my own work..well im actualyl ia littel dissapointeed, of course i can feel the message i knwo what it is im jsut not sure if it would be properly conveyed to other peopel, my man bloodshedd was feelin it, the flow was so so, vocab was aiight, i can do better...i wonder if this coudl count as a critique
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Old 11-07-03, 11:53 AM   #4
self
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Your replies to others?
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Old 11-07-03, 10:24 PM   #5
Sublime D
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yo my bad

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i replied to liek four, oen fof them was deleted...i replied to handcuff's bitch killin' which was deleted, and then i replied to one by bloodshedd, and synical ego by mc synical
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Old 11-08-03, 12:34 AM   #6
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I think that the piece was okay. Put some more time and effort in the open mic next time. This is your one chance to be heard with full attention on you. Take advantage of that. I think overall though it was cool. keep writing.
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Old 11-08-03, 11:28 PM   #7
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U had all the meaning there..I felt that..just put a little more thought into the structure next time on Open Mic..aight Peace
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