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Ya'll folks still don't know who u dealin wit
But in a few seconds u gon' hear wut we killin' wit/
Money we stay stealin it,
Some MC's are like 3" dicks..I'm not feelin' it/
I feel like committing homicidal crimes on a massive scale
Yeh i resort to desperate measures if drastic fails/
Most chicks think about jewels and skin-tight clothin'
Me I have street dreams of me & my team Hi-Rollin'/
Gotta make money off these lyrics,its too cold 'n
The 1's in my pocket ain't even worth foldin'/
They just crumpled like my insides beneath my ribcage
Only way for me to survive is spill my guts on this page/
Nicca u not me til u walk 10miles in my Timz
U won't See what I see til u look through these lens/
F*CK tha moral support,the hell with Street Credibility
My words move any1,consider 'em verbal mobility/
Some1 say they gonna murk ya believe they speakin tha truth
B4 they do tha deed without leavin no substantial proof/
I'm not ya average chick,rappin in booths
Im also tha one with bloodstains front and back of her boots*

Couldnt think of another title,jus put up anything.Hope yall enjoyed it.Stay ^
-Avi
also peep Holocaust poem

here we go

1st off...please type coherently it just makes for an easier read, i dont mind hearing slang but reading it makes me have to stop reading and figure out exactly what you are saying

the flow on this piece was basic and none to great... try to keep the lines about the same syllabul length...a cheap way is just to make them match lenght on the screen..

As a piece of just introducing yourself you got the point across, i hope you and your crew make something of yourselves.

the vocab and wordplay were very little... try to think of more synonmys (spelling?) to put around your piece

id suggest a collab with someone who does alot of open mic's they would be able to help you out more

stay up and keep trying...

aigh't for a break down. basic rhyme scheme an ur structure was good. I thought flow was down but like realist said try not to speak in slang cuz I kinda feel the same way. secondly I thought this piece was lackin a decent use of wordplay so try ta elevate urself on that but u had some nice multi's though so that made up for it. but this made for an easy read so keep droppin. peace.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

This was a dope piece ... To me anyway ... ^They juss into that net rhymin' too much ... I felt this quite a bit ... Shit was aight ... Some nice lines ... But also a couple not worth puttin in here nah mean ? ... But anyway ... Juss keep doin' ur thing girl ... Peace

Some MC's are like 3" dicks..I'm not feelin' it/
/\ loved it

loved the whole thing man, period

i thought this was alright actually
good job
although u need help and improvement to your rhyme scheme and vocabu had some good lines and some funny stuff in there too
props