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Old 11-10-03, 07:22 PM   #1
NewPort
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ClaustrophobicS Present: The Last War

IP: 5F2A E1C0

The Last War

I Live The War.. Sought For Poor
I Fight The War.. Less Foughten For..


Struggles You Have.. Battles You Fight..
Trouble In Hand.. Shadows They Hide..
Frontlines You Mark.. Understand The Flaws..
Sometimes Your Heart.. Cant Stand At All..
Enemies Suprise You.. Improvise Your Fate..
Tendencies Inside You.. Sympathize Can Wait..
Cramp You Soul.. Worst For Best..
Damp The Soil.. In The Dirt You Rest..
Or Reverse The Quotient.. Divide Your Death..
Nor Hurt Emotion.. Can Provide Your Best..
Desire Your Destiny.. Design Your Path..
Admire Your Memories.. n' Sign The Past..
Forget Before.. Forward To After..
Neglected War.. Lead Torward Capture..
Mind Falters.. Soul Goes With..
Time Altered.. Sold Over It..
What You Dont See. Dont Mean It Isn't There..
Dont Live On A Knee.. Be Always Prepared..
If The Past Haunts You.. Haunt It Back..
Laugh If Half Wants To.. Thoughts For Facts..
Doubt, Dont Hide.. Leap For Beliefs..
About Your Mind.. Reach For Relief..
Fight If Your Alone.. For What You Stand For..
Life Is Your Home.. n' Things Un-Prepared For..
Twisted, You Ask For.. Life Of The Person..
To Witness The Last War.. You Must Win The First One..


Synopsis:
Life Is Your War. Battles Arise. You Win Them Depending On How
You Take Them As They Come. A First War Is As Important As Your
Last. Make The Moment Count. Win The First War, So You Can
For-See The Last One, And Be Prepared For It. You Live The War
Each Day... How Do YOU Fight It?

Last edited by Auspicious : 11-10-03 at 07:37 PM.
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Old 11-10-03, 07:34 PM   #2
fgee
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pretty solid drop
well done...rhyme scheme was good..flow on point
imagery was there in flashes...short bars minimise it imo
didnt catch much wordplay

'Cramp You Soul.. Worst For Best..
Damp The Soil.. In The Dirt You Rest..
Or Reverse The Quotient.. Divide Your Death..
liked those lines the best

solid stuff msan
enjoyed the read which is the most important factor
peep mine if u will
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Old 11-10-03, 07:46 PM   #3
NewPort
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Feedback On
Fgee
Baron
Handcuffs
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Old 11-10-03, 09:15 PM   #4
rule
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damn, that was amazing, your wordplay and creativity was dope as fuck, i'll be looking for any of your new peices keep it up
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Old 11-10-03, 09:17 PM   #5
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Another dope drop man. You never cease to amaze me now. This piece was deep. Vocab was of course there, flashes of imagery and multi's. But when I read ya writings now, I don't even look for that, I look to see how deep it is and the meaning to it. You mos def got talent man. Keep droppin.

-Formula.

** Feedback for Full Circle is appreciated man. **
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Old 11-10-03, 09:18 PM   #6
WORD~PERFECT
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tight over all i saw no flaw
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Old 11-10-03, 09:23 PM   #7
NewPort
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Thanks..
UPPIN
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Old 11-10-03, 10:19 PM   #8
NewPort
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to the top
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Old 11-10-03, 10:25 PM   #9
Mr.Christensen
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i have to laugh, you and sureal both have similar flows... but i dont care who stole who...both use it well

the wordplay and the use of images was great throughout the piece...i am not a fan of being so abstract, as you can tell by my storytelling drops, but the way you presented some of those lines did more for the piece than hurt it

great job sir...if possible can i get feedback on No Tomorrow (in the sig)
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Old 11-10-03, 10:33 PM   #10
NewPort
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Yes.. But Not Today. Tomorrow Lol..
Gotta Bounce.. Thanks For The Feedback 1
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