I painted a picture of my love~
with golden strokes of elation~
i painted a picture of my love~
a picture of ale tainted creation~
i painted a picture of my love~
however my brow now drops~
because my picture of my love~
because the love now stops~
i painted a picture of my love~
but dissapointment played like a toy~
for this picture of my love~
is only a restriction of my joy~

so i sculpt your beauty with my bare hands~
these hands that held you near~
a sculpture of your beauty~
the hands that paid for your jeweled ear~
i sculpted your beauty with my bare hands~
with the touch that cupped your breasts~
i sculpted your soul embodied~
but within it didnt thump my chest~
so i sculpted your beauty with my bare hands~
but dissapointment played me like a toy~
for this sculpture of your beauty~
is only a restriction of my joy~

so i wrote a tale of our passion~
for our eyes alone to share~
i wrote a tale of our passion~
with as much as i could bare~
i wove a tale of our passion~
wrote us holding hands in the park~
put on paper how we make love~
u slowly moaning in the dark~
and yet words cannot contain~
the love i have for you~
so this woven tale of passion~
is a waste and always after you~

so i gathered my courage~
and you called me your king~
when i gathered up the money~
i gathered you a ring~
a ring to paint our love~
a ring to sculpt your looks~
a ring to tell of our passion~
a ring for things not held in books~
so as i take you to my room~
and give you the best of me~
i gaze deeply in your eyes~
and fall down to my knee~
your gaze could not be found by mine~
your eyes floated like a dove~
as you left the room i cried to myself~
this is a picture of my love~

1luv.

a few lines reminds me of this relatively unknown song called "this picture was my heart" i really liked the last stanza the best..
irony + heartbreak

just.. nice. beyond nice. all the emotion was on target with this and i liked the structure.. the emotion was just.. wow. nice job.

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<center>Fuck it...</center>

nice piece, i liked the structure, made it easy to read and under stand. most poems that ryhme, limit the capability of what the poet is trying to express. but you did a good job with this one nice piece. aiight much love, props,

peace out

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<center><img src=http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=6921=1 border=0></center>

this was LONG but I liked it...I'm in a particulary loving mood right now so it helped....good concept..diffrent from most love poems...emotion was shown very nicely...I enjoyed this thouroghly...

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<center> I.J.L</center>

wow, that was great. your stanzas were on key your flow on point vocab was good i really liked this it really demonstrated good knowlage on what you were talking bout keep it up man pz

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

nice piece... I luved it. Simple but decent, the message came across. Flow and vocab worked well together and I liked the fact that you repeated some of your lines.
Keep dropping and speakin straight from da heart
resp

^thanks to all yall for your responses, means the world to me, holla back for more, 1luv.

elevation is key, 1luv.

WOW the last stanza was by far the best
i had to read it twice to get the full impact
it was long which is usaully a minus in most poems because they lose interest fast and they tend to vary from the subject matter
but this one dismissed those steriotypes it kept my interest the whole time and i was anticipating the finish
great poem