plunge...........allow the unsteady jowls of demise to arise in me fear clinching my life~
thrashing with insanity the man in me leaving peers pinching my strife~
I fall toward the encompassing unknown through a stand still in the night~
being born into poverty the bottom heap fulfilling my plight~
i push proverbial thoughts of perserverance to the back of my dome~
prayin behind these bars of capture i'll soon see my love and enjoy crappin alone~
where i lay my hat is my homeescape from the pen startles my life~
my alone time with thoughts is startin to throttle my bite~
but my skin is as unharsh as bark i must escape liberty~
you frollic in your life of LIVING you would never change places with me willingly~
fuck the lows fuck hoes blowin fuck a flow fuck a poem~
fucked in this hell of a hole fuck my foes my misery goes to no end~
Im holding my breath trying to beat the beast sharpening my death~
my eyes bertray my soul as it attempts departing from my flesh~
As i sink to the depths of this mental sea my mental sees the light thats boxed within~
I thought i was drowning but i've struck the surface, and swallow oxegyn.....*heavy breathing*......

1luv.

This was really nice
i liked how you incorporated the "plunge" and then "reaching the surface" part, it brought the piece alive
i've heard similar accounts of this story told before, but you brought it different
you gave this topic used sort of alot, a more original, more creative vibe, your style and talent brought this piece up alot,
this was a nice read
no problems with this one
keep writin hun

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~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."

thanks ma, means alot to me, elevation is key....1luv.

elevation is key, 1luv.

Damn.. the emotion in this was ill.. the vocabulary you used was right on, the flow was great.. the imagery was awesome too. I loved this..

Hey if you get the time, drop an HONEST vote on this POETRY battle.. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=92718

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<center>Fuck it...</center>

...uppin this for more replies cuz I like it.. lol.

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^lol thanks mama, elevation is key, 1luv.

Wow, this was a great piece. Everything was great on it. Flow, imagery, everything. You had awesome vocab and madd emotion. I was really feelin this piece. Great job. Keep it comin. Most respect.

damn how I always just luv ya poems
it's so full of emotions and just passion. No other word for it, you always come out strong but real.
Keep droppin, ya work's very much respected
1luv

great job the emotion was great the flow and vocab was good. i cant really say anything bad about this b/c the emotion is what really mad this a great piece