I give in magnanamity
but my elevated thoguhts recently been displaced by gravity
i now live more rapidly, rushin to get places, never taking the time to remember people's faces
never tryn ta remember special places, ive melded, and melted with the mass of pellets, i was a slug, blowin apart hearts, now i no longer matter, i barely smart, can not peirce the barrier to the human psyche, too deluded savin money for the newest nikeys, it's frigthening , but oddly inviting, to watch as my body further continues its lightening, im whitening on a white background, fuck race, im no longer occupying space ill can't even be found, rules of physics slip away, as i become more diaphonus with the passing day, my proclivitc obsession wit fitteds, could never admit it, but now im committed, slicing a line in reality, to be absorbed by nonexistence, alomost with diligent persistence...................for instance, im missing, the true purpose for my soul's existence, im wishin, and listening, and fiddling wit dopamine, soporifics and ritalin, to focus my thoughts, and provide slumberous realse, from the malaise i perceive, my sight is clouded with peers, pressurin me to ignore my feelings on a matter, already adjusted to the life of the sightless, previously devoted to be popular psychics, shunning the self-righteous, and vituperating the pious, biased to the popular palaver....could i really jus dissolve, and disavow my persoanl resolves...have i already begun to fall, are im on the ledge still able to crawl, can i transcend the wal of soceity and ascend to grandeured desires, can i aplomb my mind of its much infringed privacy, and amend the broken plaster surrounding its sanctity....am i thinking, reading, writing or hearing this, with media infromation no matter the medium only exists, but do I?



done compeltely on the fly, took about 10 mins, some honest critiques please

I like it, it was a bit jumpy, couldent exactly seem to figure the topic or point but i liked the flow..

this to me sounds like it would sound alot better bein spit over beat than bein read and analyzed as a poem (consider it)

PEACE

Good piece, structure could use a little work, intead of having one big paragraph. Flow was iight. Vocab was kool. Overall good job. keep it up. Much respect.

I like it.....I'm serious too! it was good for 10mins

hey yo...just uppin to tell you that i really liked this and to keep writing

The structure of it threw me for a loop. I couldn't grasp the flow at times, but there was a bit of a flow to it. You could have written it differently, instead of paragraph form.. but it was still okay. The vocabulary you used was amazing, but at times I couldn't feel where you were going. No hate, but I wasnt feeling this. It was good, though. No hate. <3 Much love.

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<center>Fuck it...</center>