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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Banned: Spamming
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![]() IP: 3354 DAC6
Blood On The Pillow ... .. . .. Struggling Home, a man of mere muscle and bone .. Sun setting in the distance as this wanderer roams Un-loved and alone, judged by the look of his clothes The loveable rogue had sprouted from rubble and stone Covering the globe blindly, black heart vacant again .. His final destination would change with the wind .. The faith within himself will be heavily called upon As stamina is the key to completing this walkathon A trek across the globe through each of its continents Satchel at the side of his ruffled jacket, and off he went . . . Seeking lost inspiration, not the lives other cater .. but the eighth wonder of the world; Mother nature .. That's where the faith within himself would be starved again As he walks the road less travelled trying to harbour the pain More sparkling rain cascaded; a tribute to the ever green Grass beneath our heroes feet, some where he'd never been The week's passed like days, still he maintained his passion Stopping only for short breaks of food he'd break into rations Following the compass hands, the young man so forth persisted And vowed to reach the place he wasn't even sure existed . .. After Three Month's .. . North Clouds swarmed the highlands, formed before his eyelids Which indicated strongly; a storm was on the horizon The traveller walked in silence .. showed no sign of slight care His cold breath clearly visible in the midnight air Right there and then he paused, his eyes widening instantly Was it the wind he was hearing, or a mother nature symphony? .. The sound seemed to be growing, & calling his name .. But was this a cry for help, or was this all in his brain? The traveller walked in silence .. showed no sign of slight care His cold breath clearly visible in the midnight air Right there and then he paused, his eyes widening instantly Was it the wind he was hearing, or mother nature's symphony? . Before he'd even fully contemplated; the weather settled Leaving just loose leaves, a cool breeze and a gentle echo A town's presence bellowed .. a sight to feast your eyes 'Fore after many sleepless night's, he'd reached the eastern side . .. After Six Months .. . East Unsure of his true position, and yet this youth persisted The star's forming an outline around the moon in the distance Consumed for the instant; amazed by the fire's colours He see's beauty in the flame's often overlooked by others Their like lover's, and in some aspects, their much the same Each one with a flameful passion, wanting to touch the flame Flirting atop the candle sticks; until both grow bolder And start dancing to the harmony of an unknown composer Intertwining their bodies of ember light; each is nervous Both fading out as the smoke clears, once they reach the surface Unsure of his true position, and yet this youth persisted The star's forming an outline around the moon in the distance Consumed for the instant; amazed by the fire's colours He see's beauty in the flame's often overlooked by others Intertwining their bodies of ember light; each is nervous Both fading out as the smoke clears, once they reach the surface . Gallantly pacing forth on a tretch to the western basin Missing the creature comfort's; the rest & relaxation with no set destination .. following the compass blindly .. Only travelling inside the plane's his mind reached .. . .. After Nine Months .. . West Arriving to the fresh scent, of the grass & flower's present Then suddenly overcome by a rotten and foul essence Kneeling down, watching grass turn from green to brown A slight breeze sweeps the ground the leaves have crowned Making each now dance, as the wind's swept beneath .. It's nature's foxtrot performed with two left feet .. Then unexpectedly, something disturbed the plates Causing frction between them, resulting in Earthquakes Volcanoe's erupted .. Monsoon's persued them The O zone now shrunk smaller due to pollution He knew something linked these, caught in the quest Wind, Fire, Earth .. so Water was next ? Kneeling down, watching grass turn from green to brown A slight breeze sweeps the ground the leaves have crowned Making each now dance, as the wind's swept beneath .. It's nature's foxtrot performed with two left feet .. He knew something linked these, caught in the quest Wind, Fire, Earth .. so Water was next ? . The journey almost done, he was deep in thought Placing the puzzle pieces as he proceeded forth Wondering to himself whether he should write down The marathon of thoughts Running through his mind now A slight sound caught his ear .. Colour filled his face then Fore after months of chasing He'd found the final destination . .. After A Year .. . South It wasn't like he'd expected .. Nothing surrounds here But an Ocean of Emotion formed by the cloud's tears Profound spears of ice hung proud from within caves Above the beaches top lip, in attempts to kiss waves A crystal glaze sparkled from the calm & rural storm The fountain of youth releasing H2O in its purest form Waterfall's casually cascaded over rocks Our wanderer looked on, amazed as he watched It wasn't like he'd expected .. Nothing surrounds here But an Ocean of Emotion formed by the cloud's tears Profound spears of ice hung proud from within caves Above the beaches top lip, in attempts to kiss waves A crystal glaze sparkled from the calm & rural storm The fountain of youth releasing H2O in its purest form The waves had then stopped as he attempted to reach them He had now learned the message God was trying to teach him . . . Wind, Fire, Earth and Water .. they're the Four elements North, East, West then South .. because NEWS always spreads It all makes sense .. and yet ive figured nothing out We know the problem .. yet its one we do Nothing about And yes, i will put it down. Here's the message: We as human's are the Blood On The Pillow . . . Of Mother nature's death Bed. Peace.
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Veteran
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IP: FF89 3C60
Cam...
Despite you being a dick to me most of the time... I went ahead and read this long ass verse for you... (since hours had passed and no one else had) So you owe me one whenever I have one to link you. Dude... This verse was pretty fuckin extraordinary. Way too long, and I wasn't sure what you were getting at with the hook. But, man... Your imagery, vocab, multi's and flow were amazing. And the message came together nicely... Made quite the impact. Yep, we are fucking this world up pretty good. It's a shame this message won't be appreciated like it should. (^^^ above line wasn't meant to be a rhyme) Or adhered to. But you busted this one out as well as anyone could have... Great fuckin work. Legend's material as far as I'm concerned. 9/10
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Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T. For my convenience, not yours! |
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 3354 DAC6
Yeah, i really went to town on this. It's on some epic 102 lines type shit .. HaHa .. there is no real 'hook' to it, it repeats in the verses to emphasize what was happening.
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Eye Designs
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IP: CADD E9B8
That was by far...One of the best Open Mic drops i've ever seen
Very deep....Good detail.....Imagery was interesting.....Wordplay good Very long.... but very interesting to read.....Nice peice... Props to ya.....Keep it up......I'll start readin your shit more often Rate 19.5/20
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
![]() ![]() ..this was one of the nicest open mic's I read so far... ![]() |
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 3354 DAC6
oOoOOOooOoOOoOOoOoOOooOOOOoOOOo
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W o r d P e r f e c t ![]() ^This is your IP bitch! |
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
woah. took the time to finally read it.
no wait, thats a lie, i picked up where i left off and basically skimmed through it for the second time.
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-Word for Word-
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
ok read it fully this time and you are by far the most amazing
writer ive read of so far. this is beyond anything ive ever read by chicken or father flow.. this is beyond the talent or status quo's or elf's work.. this is something to itself.. i loved how you used NEWS.. so many good concepts and such a good piece. dope. Legends-Forever Ill- Whatever.. it was all dope.
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-Word for Word-
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Half Lyricist/Half King
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IP: C1DA C961
good shit dawg, nice vocab and nice shit, since I did give ya my opinion, can u honestly vote on this battle here,,,,,,
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104849
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<a href="http://http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1194274">Se7eN v.s Long Beach Finest</a> ![]() |
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 3354 DAC6
Cheers folks ..
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...
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IP: DBFE C7DF
observe as I thrust my penis in and out of your left eye =)
this is a fantastic piece Cam, you don't need this reply to tell you that. I don't know if I necessarily liked the repetition of the first half of the verse before the second half of the verse....sometimes it was dope, but other times it just seemed to be filler. The blood on the pillow thing was very well worked in. Oh, and this is going in legends whether people vote it in or not.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Light Weight
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IP: E38C 4580
Cam, This Was Beyond Dope. . Incredible Shit. . I Actually Like The Repetition, Gave More Meaning. . The Blood On The Pillow Concept Worked In Was Real Dope. . All The Parts Were Insanely Dope. . This Should Be In Legends Forreal. . Flow Was On-Point. . God, There Are So Many Positive Things I Could Say, But I'm Tired. . So This Shit Is Forever Ill, Legendary, W/E RB Calls It. . This Is A Fucking Gem.
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
See you diss backpacker rap...and then you go and contradict yourself and write a dope piece using a backpacker rhyme scheme..Haha..
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 3354 DAC6
Lol at a backpacker rhyme scheme. I actually dont like most the stuff you listen to ..
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Yes, I know you don't...Doesn't stop you from using a similar rhyme scheme though.
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