'Set In Stone'

Just something i was feeling on a lonely, Rainy day.....it's a bit long but worth it.....enjoy.

I never thought I'd ever feel so much for someone I've never met or
talked to until I didn't meet the girl in the
blue t-shirt that hung down to her
knees and had holes in the seams and a dark stain right by her belly that I didn't even want to
think about
that I

didn't even want to
think about cus it hurt me too much to look at her stony
face and see her eyes cold as my hometown and harder than perma-
-frost
you could see that she'd cried a lot over the years but
somewhere around age 11 she just
suddenly
stopped letting it out instead she
let herself out

she let herself out of the house through her first story rotting windowpaned bed-
-room and she made her way downtown to listen to the lullaby of the
street sounds of the
cars racing past and horns honking and
neon signs buzzing so high that they faded into the background

she heard babies crying and wives screaming and
the thud of the fist that made the wives cry and the occasional
smash
of a fragile dinner plate that would shatter into a million pieces and
that woman would try to sweep it all up but
try as she might she would still find little slivers in the corners days
later

she slumped down against a stained redbrick wall that reeked of urine and
bloodstains and
grown-up-alcoholic drinks and lay there letting the rats run
rampid over her bruised
shins and drank it all drankitall
in

the wailing sirens and the screaming women merged together and
she could no longer hear the noise of the traffic she
couldn't feel the cool night air prickling the hairs on her arm she
didn't even smell the drunken bums or their BO and she
didn't even see the flashing neon signs advertising LIVE
NUDES (although secretly what they were selling was the innocence of gullible young girls like herself)

she just sat there and stopped feeling everything and she
didn't even blink not
once cus
she could feel her eyes freezing over in the night air and she
wanted so badly for her eyes to freeze over so that
she could be i(don't)cy
cool


I never thought I'd ever feel so much for someone I've never met or
talked to until I didn't meet the girl in the
blue t-shirt that hung down to her
knees and had holes in the seams and a dark stain right by her belly
that I didn't even want to think
about but
after I found her that morning on my way to work it was all that I
could
think about - she was an eleven year old Jane Doe and she was just
lying on a downtown street corner slumped up against a
stained redbrick wall
she had a look on her face like she'd been waiting for something like
she hadn't even noticed the smell of urine and drunken bums cus
the thing she was waiting for meant more to her than life its-
-self

I stopped in my path and shook my head not believing what I was
seeing I
felt my eyes fill to near bursting because I couldn't comprehend how
something like this could
happen how
an eleven year old girl ends up dead on a street corner and
no one even stops to call the police I mean
god forbid they be late for work because
this girl will be late for the rest of her life and I seem to be the only one who

cares.

-Twizzle

Copyright 2003

Damn, this is a deep piece. Long, but it was definitely worth the read. Deep emotion, and it was all felt. The structure was off in a few places, but everything seemed to override it. The flow and everything was great, and every stanza pulled me in. It hit me hard. This is one of the best in which i have read in a long time. Upmost respect. 10/10. Thanks for the great read. Looking forward to seeing more of your stuff.

WOW...i can relate to this...that is one of the many reasons i liked it....the is nice....looking forward to seeing more

wow
this was kinda long but very clever
i injoyed it none the less
good shit man, keep that mind on full gear dogg

Poor girl.

See, this is why you're one of the most talented people here. Because you can take something that doesn't directly involve you and make us, the readers, feel as if we're experiencing it first hand.

This peice may not have had a happy ending, but I loved it either way. And that's about all I can say.

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.