ima smoke ma weed n hash
n make u sniff the ashh
ima fucka ya mama real hard n pull her hair out
n when ya granmaz shittin ima pull tha fuckin toilet chair out
ima make ya sis n ya gurl to lez shit on the couch
n make um taste dog cum if they tryte say ouch
so i b beaten up ya dad wit ya grandadz leg
n make um makin him self fucked up cuz he gon b dead
see where its led
ima fuck ya wife have ya daughter n rape her on the bed
calm it dont vomit if u gotta
do it in ya grannyz pussy its hotta
n whatboutcha your left
them nigguhz gone pick u up cutcha up wen they do the theft
read on fake ass pussy its sickniss
tell ya gurl to peep thru the window cuz in ya sis is where ma dick is
ma rymez cant b sicka than ya momz when she duzz people in church they done
she bin doin it eversicne she was a lezbian nun
the bitch said whatup cool ryma dope! n later said hun

hit back whoze readin
if u by the time iz breathin
n yea if u a hater shut yo ass up
or up ya ass ima stick the hash up

ma email hearthacker_hh@hotmail.com check it

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But this was ok.....your structure need some work though, try making the lines around the same length to make it structured well, cause you have some short lines and long lines....flow in this was ok, got off at points, try adding some multies and internals to help support the flow in this piece....your vocab was ok, could be up'd though....but overall this was ok...keep at it.