this color i wear has givin me alote of pain
the masks that spit fire of hate jus burn within
the things you see the color you hate the mask i wear you judge
its the within me you should see and believe
my blood is as red as yours and everyone else

its strang cuz im white and i feel hated
racisam is not jus white vs black
i have much respect for every culture
i love to see this wold with color
but ppl like yourself jus make me sick

RESPECT is much more stronger then color
i stand alone in a dark room so won't listen to you
your nuthin fuck you and you constent cussin
im not gonna let you bring me down
i'll stand tall and and not sink to your level

ima put a stop to this...it starts today

peace

first off sorry there is a bit of misspelled words
i was keying this in and not thinking about spellin
i jus had too feed this with anger

peace

wow ummm i felt this more as a speech than as a poem...something recently happen...? Decent piece forsure could use work but you put your feelings out nicely..peep me piece and i'll love you...

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

thanxs man i wass hated by ppl cuz of were i was from i thought fighting wasn't the solution(almost killed two guys)
so i picked up a pad and pen
wen i was done i realized this was more of a speach...

peace

nice so i was somewhat correct....keep writin

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
for
more honest feed back

peace

u want my honest op aight...it was a good "speech" fa sure and had strong lines but..you were alil contradictory of yourself..it could use alil work but like u said u wrote it the way it came and the way u felt and i respect that..so good job..

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

nice i was feeling it *peace*

thanx for your feed back

uuppiinn this for more honest feed back

lookin foward to it and drop some do's and don'ts


peace

I like the concept but its hard to analyze a poem thats not really a poem

i would have to say that there was no ryme scheme pretty much at all and you jumped from sentence to sentence

things were a bit hazy

i think you should of spent more time thinking this out, finding your deep emotions about it and then attempting to write how you feel

block out all the rest of the world except the situation and then just go...and see what comes out

there was alot of emotion but it just dident come out, kinda like you needed that extra push..

not to bad tho...

keep it up