hey man its been awhile since we spoke
remember last time when i told that funny joke?
well now things are different an shit aint funny
I've had to sell my soul for Pamper money
I'm an underage father an that shit is my Cross
but it makes me stronger so dont count it a loss
Fuck! let me get to the point while my mind is still clear
Why do you say that youll listen an never hear?
I've been on my knees lettin my tears mark the suns path
I've followed you faithfully an I still feel your wrath
When you were on the Cross I tried to interject for you
but now you see me in pain an respond wit a FUCK YOU
help me Lord before I lose my grip on religion
an let this cold barrel kiss me on my temple region
see a bullet will do what you promised you would
it will rid me of this pain an get me out the hood
so i guess now I'll stop writing so you can think
but i need you to know if I dont swim then i sink


lol tell me what yall think about it

uppin

for something plain and simple as that. i enjoyed reading it.
it had a hook that allowed me to read it from beginning to end.
and thats wut some verses lack. add some complexity and
it might be even be great. but props on something like that.
it was nice. good topic also. i give it a 8/10.
one love, one God, one way...
peACE

ps. check out my open mic entitled "love at first site" and leave
feedback...thanx

uppin

i really like that..and it does hold my attention as well..and alot of people feel that way when he says hes here for us and then it seems like hes no where to be found....BUT..kid let me remind u that sumtimes in order for him to hear u u gotta reach to him and hell help u the rest of the way..trust me i been there..u gotta give a lil and ull get alot in the end..hang in there..

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

sorry i aint give much feed on the actual poem but like u i just wanted to speak from my heart and give u sum advice

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

i liked it cuz, it held my attention the whole time. decent flow and u got ur point across. iv been there too when u question everything.but just let shit go.thats the easiest way. when ur not lookin for anwers thats when u see them.