Check this shit...feedback and support is always appreaciated

Fuck Politians, an this unjust system...not wishin to listen to the oppposition's petitions,
Ignore Africa's need for nutrition, like this shit's fiction...Could start with our whole fuckin' Jurasdiction,
Spread this infectious political angst...Causin' distortion among tha ranks,
Lyrical traps for Murderous tanks...think outside your box an they'll make you walk planks,
No thanks to your decaying rat race...this is a taste of how I feel disgraced,
How long before facists get repalced...history's laced with this radical case,
An of some how life's a watste...destroyed an erased without trace,
'Cos a fear of a race is dormant...Not chased and then faced,

When Romans killed the christian an his steeple...what kept the faith alive was the will of people,
Today the killing's from the American Eagle...cos at war slaughterin woman an children's legal,
Propaganda in the news is bogus an unbelievable...cos the people at the top are liers and decietful,
Unfortunately people are so decievable...this results in murder, an lives are not retrivable,
Stop tha shed of blood, fuck tha recruitment...make a difference an spark revolution,
A solution to difference is no illusion....Scared voices disrupt the earth like pollution,
It's a threat not jus a nuisance...There's a timer on tha earth that screams defusion,
We gotta give our children visions to choose from....so show them truth an clear all confusion.

Peace

loking at it, it looks all over, but once i got reading it seemed to fit....some nice vocab thrown in,,,which helped the flow,,,,but it was lost a bit in places.....some good multis thrown in....quite good i thought....not sure on the topic though,,bores me a bit..pZ...

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted...

But this was alright here...structure could a bit of work though i think, your lines are kinda stretched out a bit, but it still flowed alright, but it still fell off at some points though....vocab in this was pretty good....had some good multies in here....overall a alright piece here...keep at it.

concept is ooooooooooooooold .. if youre going to do something like this then try to add a unique twist into it that noone expects ..

i hate the big word rhymes .. they dont count as multi's in my book but i guess RB looks at them different ..

split your shit up into bars .. your flow was all over the place in some parts and then in some other parts it was very fluent .. impressed when it was ..

keep writing, just try to touch up here and there and you'll be doin good ..

elevate

pz..1
-salvation

Don't listen to that^^^^...

This was a great display of multi's...

Maybe too many, cuz I was getting a bit dizzy towards the end.

But all in all, good message...

Heard it before, but you came with your own style.

Not bad.

Lines were way too stretched...

Cut that shit out.

Aside from that...

Cool. 6.25/10

Peace

__________________
Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T.
For my convenience, not yours!

Follow the rules!..= )

__________________
Fuck you

a good piece flow was good wordplay ok vocab ok multis good punches ok structure was good over all 7.2/10

Yo don't delete this thread cos I've dun what you've asked, I suppose I shudda read tha rules. Here's some good verses:


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97299

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97921

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97765

Can I get some more feedback..........................Peace