just woke up in tha morning , look in tha mirror
all i see is terror , thats when i ask myself
these friends that we make , misery that we take
only create make , the bad hardtimez
bad hardtimez , thats when we start to hate
hate each other thats when we start to beef
living in this life its like you're in a fight
try to win you ended up tight
situation not right , coz something is wrong
something is wrong , you know all about my song
HARDTIME


********SORRY I CAN'T FINISH IT , I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT SOME WORDS I'M STILL NEW TO THIS RAPPING SO I NEED TO FIND THA RIGHT SHIT *********[IS IT GOOD OR BAD]

HELP ME IF ITS BAD

u jus need to keep writing a u'll become good.
again wordplay wasnt all dat, and vocab could be improved.
try add more multi's and try and make u flow stay on a not driftoff as much.
overall not bad since u've only have 14 posts, keep writing.
and if u dnt a three links to replies, this is gonna get shut down.

hit my rhyme
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96675

cheers

THANX FOR THA HELP DA CHRONIC G

dnt worry, everyone on this site was at ur stage at sometime or another

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..

but this was alright....kinda short though, i thought you could have went a little more with this though....but your structure in this was good i thought....flow was ok, could have been a bit better, try adding some multies and internals to help that out...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

just keep goin man

u repeated a few ststements which is an original thing

if you meant to do it.

the rhyme scheme needs a lil help.

Get some better vocab and you be straight.

One..............................................

you have to reply to three other open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

thanx maven