By a friend of mine, posted by me. Critique.

Love and Hate, four years to this date, I cannot keep living in this state. A rollar coaster of emotional tremors, I thought it would be you and me, for worse and for better. How many girls have passed you by, you let them use and abuse you, why? None of these girls happened to be me. You didn't feel like being happy? You wanted ass, I see. I jumped in the water and tried to drown, or tie a noose and hang myself when you weren't around. But with time comes change, wisdom and age, you made me so lonely, I'm over that stage. You made me so happy, I wanted to kill myself, having you around was bad for my health. I wanted you to kiss, then slit my wrists, nothing to grab as I'm sucked into your abyss. I try to move on, everyday I try, each time it gets harder as I catch your eye. I think I'm in love, but no longer with you, now I know you're worth nothing, you know that it's true. You're so low, I'm high above, you're the only boy I ever hated to love.

That makes complete sense in a weird way.. sometimes it felt like she just completely contradicted herself.. like at the beginning i was confused.. I only got it at the end.. but I liked it. The flow was good, I didnt think it was off at all.. Nice topic, seen it done before, but they did it quite nicely. I liked this, the way it was written, the flow, and the topic. Nothing to be changed. Nice job.

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<center>Fuck it...</center>

I have to say that this pz was very well written 2 problems its been done before and not only that but also she wrote it in paragraph form or that's just how you wrote it so the structure was off not completly wack but it wasn't right either.

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Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases
17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him
18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper-
19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life

20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish

ERM......MIXED FEELINS ON THIS SCRIPT. THE LAYOUT WAS A LIL RUSTY BUT CONTENT WAS MOSTLY SOUND. WORDPLAY WAS U LIL UNDER SCORE BUT AS A WHOLE IM FEELIN YA!

PEACE OUT

This poem really reminds me....of one of my friends current relationship. It scars you for life...

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Ya shit is no competition like 'trucker hats' against some 'fitteds'
nigga I'll fade u away like J's on the ballin court in a 'arcura' wit 'tinteds' -mindkontrol

none yall niggas wanna see me...