unlike rakim, i discust mic's like fiends, disrupt the likes of seeds, combust lights wit speed, of cut rhymes n free's, i trust whites n g's, hush knifes with these, wrists wit more marks than nike'ezzz//
i respond tah this modern hit, tonic slips from my palms n shit, i bomb the tips of your brain spain, logic exists as the main plan, objects twist like brought up kids witta plain fam, i aim slams at consieded, blazed clans that bin defeated, previously consumin unsafe grams, i hang brands of those accomplished, compose closure like its motions of closed caskets//
im jerassic, stackin traffican tickets in your addict, strappin gats isn't acts of finatics, i distract raps wit black plaques made from mack 10's blacksmith//
gashes, slashin masks wit disattatched gaskets, mismatchin tracks with rapids, trappin gasps in ashes, clips scratchin at your fashion//
Big L, Make wigs swell, hate when things dwell, like yourself diggin tah hell, bring linguistics witch excels, angels get dangled n mangled while wings hangin in cells, rearrangin shells in medians sinkin in your health, obediant breathin ofa treatment, dipleetment of speechlessness an its recent, since hes spent 3 weeks with death he thinks its decent//

Replied to

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...1944#post991944

**I will edit this with the other links

Get the other 2 links. Thanks.

But this was ok...structure could use some work though, try keeping your lines around the same lengths and not so stretched out cause it throws the flow off....but keep at it.

I agree with masta c. work on spelling format too a bit man. aight though.... peace

much agreed your structure needs some help, but overall this shit was aight,
stay up

i was fellin the flow but i would have add more conjuctions but it was still hard i like the last line

"an its recent, since hes spent 3 weeks with death he thinks its decent//"

I was i fellin it but like everyone and everything it could use work

structure needs work otha than that it was iight