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Old 10-11-04, 12:33 PM   #1
xOverdozEx
New to RV
 
Posts: 43
From: NeW YoRK
PLease Read My First Poem

IP:

Its To The October Picture In Rhetorical Insights I Just Want Feedback Too Since Its My First

*Im New At Poetry So Drop Feed If You Can Please...*

I've Been Thinking Alot Lately...
I Might Cry

As I'm Dazed And I Gaze
At The Beautiful Night Sky

All Of My Memories And Every Dream
Thinking It Was Meant To Be

All Of The Stuff That We Did...
But Nothing Was Left For Me

Now This One Night Im Seeing
Brings It All Back To Me

Actually Maybe Im Wrong
Maybe This Is What Had To Be

A Night Like This...
...The Same Sky Exactly

The Same Girl That Makes Me Angry Now
Made Me Happy

She Told Me That She Loved Me
In A Special Bottled Message

Telling Me How Much She Thought Of Me
In A Way Thats Not Obsessive

I Sailed Away A Happy Man
With Her In This Low Tide

Now Im All By Myself
Taking A Lonely Boat Ride

Because 6 Months Later
... The Breakup Was Ugly

She Told Me She Hated Me...

The Same Way ...

She Told Me That She Loved Me.
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Old 10-11-04, 01:44 PM   #2
grandrapper
New to RV
 
Posts: 35
IP:

dude i like that poem alot that's tight, your gonna be really great in the poetry department. keep up the good work peace
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Old 10-11-04, 09:58 PM   #3
xOverdozEx
New to RV
 
Posts: 43
From: NeW YoRK
IP:

ayo thanx im trying il drop another one tomorrow or maybe the day after
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Old 10-11-04, 10:52 PM   #4
fluidmoon
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
 
fluidmoon's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,183
From: NEW YORK
IP:

nice poem, it was damn good for your first, dope emotion and flow,, you got it, just keep droppin..pc
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

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*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*
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Old 10-12-04, 08:53 AM   #5
Critic
Black Poet
 
Posts: 1,474
From: London
IP:

This was pretty hott man you could have got a little deeper but that will come
in time.

Nice Poem.
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Old 10-25-04, 12:37 PM   #6
¥ung_gÅl_†®àumå
New to RB
 
Posts: 20
IP:

can any of use tell me how 2 get da link 2 ure stuff on wen u leave feedbacks and da poem wos deep enjoyable keep dem cumin
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