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08-26-05, 02:59 PM | #1 | ||
Light Weight
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From His Point of View
IP:
There’s only so many sorries a mind can take
before a person falls down, stumbles and breaks. It isn’t worth all the pain I’ve had, all the things I’ve went through just to get a piece that’s mad. Can’t understand the other side, just wanting to get on a good tide. Wonder at night is this really worth it, then in the day I confirm it. Still the things I put up with are insane, slanders and her wanting me to change. Little by little, I succumb to the wishes, little by little I stop throwing switches. Stuck in love, but can’t find a way out, this is my story of how one man can’t shout. Slowly falling and increasing in speed, never going to tell you the things I need. Physically enjoyable but mentally unstable, I tell myself I’m willing and capable, but some days like today its just too much for me to handle.
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-26-05, 04:11 PM | #2 | ||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP:
wow, really emotional......felt this....ur vocab needs ta up...and ur structure.....an easy way out to make ur structure look iight is just center it.....lol and this had good concept 7.5/10...not bad......holla at my o/ms in tha sig
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-26-05, 04:20 PM | #3 | ||
Light Weight
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IP:
thanks man, uppin this
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-28-05, 10:24 PM | #5 | ||
Light Weight
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IP:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2402210 my link, and UpPiN
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-28-05, 11:34 PM | #6 | ||
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP:
this was good, but purely fiction, lol, emotion was good, flow was very good, structure is getting better, keep it up
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i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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