Nobody post in here, feel free to read though. I'm using this as a lyrical blog I guess.

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 (later on)

I talked to nejla but she left quick, so im like hey
Nejla is gay, but most rocks are gray

Tuesday, March 28th

i'm done with the main focus shit now.. my mind kinda all over the place nowdays



embracing creativty, tryna stay realistic
and state the specifics, but right now Inspiration is missin'
this the before rush of war in my brain a warm up
to document more crushing stories, I gotta ignore love
I already dripped ink for nejla, it left me intrigued...
about whats on my mind daily, just look at every entry
I have no brothers or friends, my sister and mother have cursed
my name under the table, I love no one other than her
so you cannot convince me to stop mentioning nej
This aint the industry man, I vent this uninteresting head
I'd always mastered my craft when disaster woud spread
and nejla aggrivates me, consider what pastors have said
this pure virgin's innocence vanished after she bled..... so
am I wrong for wanting to crack her and put a gap in her legs?
laughter'll coverup to truth, oh what the fuck to do
with buckets of lust to mute, but hey it's just a rule..
and most girl's limits on this stuff is like a month or two
but when the cherry busts you're through being young so its up to you..
my next goal is finally clearing the GED test so...
I just wanna meal, I don't need to be dressed in the best clothes
I been stressful, but it seemed like nobody else known
I was just neglectful of everyone else, but it felt wrong
when I listen to any Mc's track, all of em agree that
you can't assist a greedy pack without any feedback
blowing 16 candles tommorow, no speeches are spoken
so on that note I'll leave the forum so peace for the moment

Wednesday, March 29th



me and my girl was talkin, but now I'm crossin a fight
she said be right back, but I'm lossed I think she off for the tonight
I contemplate... remaining awake for a response and wait
for her to get on, this is too big of a bond to break...
a constant waste to lose life, because time could be vital
she could be asleep, why you reachin the height of sleep cycles
my mind speaks with discreet silence, but it won't be quiet
I don't see why it's me, who seems to increase violence..
You know that sayin people use, 'can't have your cake and eat it too'
if I couldn't eat it, I wouldn't grab a plate to keep the food
I made peace with avoidin ppl who's feeding the noise..
that doesn't agree with the voice that is bringing me joy
I'm tryna keep the weight limber, but I can't stay centered
finding great women doesnt situate to a create winners
it's like god'll give you a spot where you could stop the issues
where you got your wishes on lock, and your options blissful
but then you got alot that piss you off, till you cop a pistol
and blow your top off, and the one you love is stockin tissues
if I can clot the sniffles of this girl by holdin' the load
of being disliked and loathed by the likes of spul and compose..
thank you peter for introducing..I'm not supported or liked
I'm not sore, its my life and I got my priorities right

Happy birthday to me, I'm about to eat cheese
and watch tv, and drink tea, oh tee hee

Your such a softie.. tee hee.
And I'm feelin that Boondocks GIF.. might snatch me it. o.O

__________________

..The Council..
7 Day Theory

Ask soc to make you one. Wordsizzle is his aim

April 10th, 2006

FUCKIN PISSED


EDITED beggining... shits fuckin insane =/

he's 22, she's 16, within his personal grasp
and whats scarier is he wanted to marry her in the past
they say I musn't fight, and that I can't do nothin' violent,
what if he's there at her house right as I fuckin write this
and she taking a shower, he could pretend to be cautious
and while shes busy, he could simply 'accidently' walk in
just stalkin my girlfriend if he could sense the shit I'm involved in
with my temper and the shit just makes me wish for my coffin
and not only that, and my wifey just told me that,
------ who supposed to be my homie, was on engrossing acts
so bogus and yo its making me just wanna go insane..
I try to control, but my shoulders holding weight so I don't behave
and with predicted patterns you know it hurts to be patronised
but it seems like all the bullshit is perfectly sacronised
I weep, but all I do is cry, what can I do alive
he OVER THERE RIGHT NOW, the fuck is going through his mind?
and suicide is excluded so I guess I'ma have to breath
are all my past beliefs and actions from back then comin back to me?
tragically, it'll take a while to let me break a smile
I can't take it for real, I know I sound like an impatient child
but that's my baby there, and what the fuck could I do?
nothing, I feel like going to jail for something just to allude
no collection of words could put it to rest cause is burns
I can't digest it, my chest full of embers of aggression I yearn
for answers of why I'm stressin... are ppl taking lessons to learn
how to make me depressed as fuck and take a step on my nerves

damn ima quit right now

April 12th, 2006


Stfu I'm not a pervert. Yeah fuck you.




Crystal hued liquid, arose from the @#$% I'm givin you
if she #$@$s the tip of it with hella spit I'll rip her clit in two
desire is in my mind again, the fire's ignited and
it's the time of the night where I retire from fightin it
in my eyes, the next image is the messages sent
that I want sex, yes its a sin, unless she's pregnant with kids
and I guess I'm convinced, shes the one, and it'll take some work
to take care of her, but now its 9 months from her day of birth
nearing the climax, her appearance got my spirit alive, that
chemistry, mirrors the expermiments of apprised class...
her once timid figure, shivers with me like rivers and kiaks
she takes control with little interference from my half...

damn

My perverted thinking has been killed *talks about something else*

it just seems, that nowadays I'm sayin sensitive things
to a genius woman who isnt all that different from me...
she left so quick, I didnt even get an instant to think
she mentioned her mother hit her like an infant I screamed
when I laid my eyes on the sentense she sent,I wished it was me
so she wouldn't feel it at least to let her innocence be
and what eats it up is the thought of her even being struck
like me, its fucked up from what I heard she's already seen enough
LOOK AT THIS WORLD, somebody really needs to clean this dump
I swear I wanna delete shit and only keep what we can love
she's going through alot, and I want a seed to sprout?
I'm only increasin the heat, and I claim to be reachin out
I aint doin shit, I see it now, soon I won't be this loud
my mouth'll retreat and sound'll just be screeching down
my police files keep seeking me, my life is packed
and dante's letter was while ago and I aint write em back
but it's simple to see today from reading this, change seased
its no use writing him, when I'm repeating the same things


thats all for right now

April 13th, 2006

I hate everyone and everything. =/

April 14th, 2006

I hate everyone and everything even more than fuckin' yesterday.

lmao......your weird kid, nice diary tho

Thursday, April 20th, 2006


To prevent being overly obvious..I'm gonna try not to say exactly how I feel or why I feel like it, this is like some half poem half rap thing I dunno wtf I'm on anymore.

Instrumental

I'm an organ doner but..its imported before the cororner
it's torture, I dont think I can afford every quart of blood
aborted joy, in a war with love, and yes, bored as fuck
a shortage of doves, I stopped orbiting like jordan does
the present is harsh the strain to let your heart depart
complainin' marks the ache, hardships sink, while the harp is playin
the music's your mind confusing your eyes, use it to try
and puke the useless weakness and mute it inside
and refuse the thought, I will never let it speak or hum..
but it often spoke in the heart that left, it used to beat its drum
the melody left me speechless, but made me speak and think
and gave me strength, and made me feel it was safe for me to blink
so I closed my lids, broke the guard, and awoke to this...
a stolen gift, a lonesome kid, I choke on my hope to spit...
cause the sound told me exactly what the note was about
but I'm goin without my instrumental why open my mouth?




Eh, I dont even gotta reason to get on anymore. I'm out for the day

yo my name is Indeph, son. I don't mean to talk no bull
And I seriously think I'm too cool, just to talk to SPuL
HOLLA!!!!!!

__________________

Lmfao I think I love you I need to get on aim. Hold.