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Old 12-28-04, 11:10 PM   #1
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
Tha Cycle...to Tha Music Of Aaliyahs I Miss U Feat. Jay-z

IP:

The Beast In Me Just Wont Let Me Be Free/
Sworn Ta Secrecy Swarmed With Mischief He/
Cant Be Helped, Tha Hurt Cant Be Felt/
All Tha Bruises And All Tha Welts/
Just Wont Go Away Nothin Goes His Way/
He Dont Know What Ta Say/
He Dont Know What Ta Pray/
He Dont Know What Ta Think/
He Just Know What Time Of Day/
Ta Brace Himsefl He Always Ask How Come/
But Even Cries 4rm His Mother Wont Change The Outcome/
At Night He Cries Cuz Hes Trapped Inside/
Only 5 But Hopes That He Would Die/
Then Thoughts Arrive,that He Should Strive/
He Needs Ta Try Fa His Mommas Sake/
He Needs Ta Fight Back Befo Itz All Too Late/
Goes Ta School With Black Eyez And Swollen Lips/
His Only Wish Is That He Could Just Swoll His Shit/
Everybody Pretends That They Dont Notice It/
But Its Obvious Hes Filled With Hopelessness/

Verse 2
A Couple Years Pass And Hes Bigger Now/
All He Gots Ta Do Is Just Figure Out/
How Ta Fight Tha Fear And Dont Hold Back/
Its Only A Matter Of Time And He Knows That/
Now Hes Not Tha Victim But His Mom Is/
Hes Been Buildin Up Anger Fo Tha Longest/and One Night He Just Lost Control/
When Pops Slapped His Mom And Broke Her Nose/
He Looked At Her Balled Up On Tha Floor/
And Told Himself This Wont Happen No More/
So He Took All His Strength And Used All His Weight/
And Landed Several Punches To His Fathers Frame/now He Feels Relieved Hearin His Fathers Screams/
But He Dont Stop Even After His Father Pleas/
His Mind Goes Blank He Loses All Consciousness/
For All Those Times This Was His Consequence/

Verse 3
Now Whos The Victim Now Who Feels The Hurt/
But Even After This He Still Fees Tha Worst/
Cuz Tha Past Scarrred Him For Life/
So He Grows Up And Does Tha Same Thing To His Wife/
Theres No Light U Cant Break The Chains/
Cause Once It Starts It Wont Stop Thats Strange/...
That The Boy Who Once Cried Now Brings The Pain/
But Its Diffrent Now Cuz All He Knows Is/
What He Went Thru As A Child He Supposes/
Thats How Life Goes, Thats How Life Is/
I Know This Cuz Half Our Lifes Were Like His.......end

Let Me Know But This Some Deep Shit..i Like Writin Shit About Issues And Real Life Cuz Thats Just Me So Holla......
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Old 12-29-04, 12:43 PM   #2
Chuck Low
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Posts: 149
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uuuuuuppppppppiiiiiiinnnnnn we need votes i return tha favor
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Old 12-29-04, 12:48 PM   #3
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
IP:

i mean i need feedback so hollabbbbbbbaaaaaccccccccccckkkkkkkkk
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Old 12-29-04, 01:19 PM   #4
Kilo704
tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
 
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Posts: 334
From: north-cock-it-back (nc 4 da lames)
IP:

yo ..........dis is deep dawg. i think da subject n how u explained wut was goin on really went well with tha beat from dat song. u should do dat in a audio mayne. return da favor in my open mic its really a freestyle but i added a hook 2 it. its called Places 2Go, People 2 see. its a diss 2 some hatin mothafuckaz, they kno who they is.
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Old 01-01-05, 06:25 AM   #5
Tha Unknown (Uk)
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From: Cashville,Ten-A-Key
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yo ..........dis is deep Fam. I smell tha subject u pikked an how u explained wut was goin on. U should do dat in a audio Fam. return da favor in my open mic its called "Evil Ambitionz". Yo Keep doin yo thing bra an good things shall come of it ya smell me
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Old 01-02-05, 09:53 PM   #6
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
hhhhaaaayyyyy

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uuuuuuuppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Old 12-29-04, 01:51 PM   #7
X-§tatic
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 135
From: ::Vile~NileZ::
IP:

it was alright but nothing that special.not a bad rhyme scheme, had a ill flow. the way you had the flow made me want to read on more and more. flow was the best aspect of this piece. the rest was ok..not really complex. you need to work on structure and other rhyme schemes though. but im sure it would go nice with the beat .

6.5/10
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Old 12-29-04, 01:52 PM   #8
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
IP:

Thanks Uuuuuuppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn Feed Back Plz Return Tha Favor
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Old 12-29-04, 05:56 PM   #9
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
IP:

feed back needed return the favor...................
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Old 12-29-04, 11:42 PM   #10
Kilo704
tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
 
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Posts: 334
From: north-cock-it-back (nc 4 da lames)
IP:

yo chuck is u in a crew?
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Old 12-31-04, 01:32 AM   #11
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
IP:

nah i aint in no crew im solo fa now......................
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Old 12-31-04, 11:35 AM   #12
Chuck Low
Flyweight
 
Posts: 149
IP:

uuuuuupppppppiiiiiiiinnnnnnn need votes favor be returned
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