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Old 12-04-06, 11:44 AM   #1
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
The Intro

IP:

this my introduction..lettin niggaz know the name..spittin only flame/
a beast..unchained..feastin on emcees..like whole grains..lettin the flow bang/
the K is fo K-Reem..the Ill..fo Illinois..bringin the noyz..wit mo nuts than almond joy/
With enough poise..to shit on u an ya boys..wipe a nigga out..null n void..snatchin cheez like the..Noid/
Gettin n rappers asses like..hemma roids..avoid the skill..the kids to0-real/
Bustin like two-steal..Kick wit..Bruce-Skill..lettin the juice-spill..fuck what..you-feel/
Im the truth..Neal..comin wit..tru-zeal..so deep I need..gills..love money..I bleed-Bills/
Real talk..I haul off..the soft..run like M.Faulk..I walk the walk..mouth-off..all offed N chalk/
often Raw..nuckles..soften Jaws..crimnal minded..why kid..lost em laws..Im ballin-dawg/
Haulin off..Rabbid dawg..Maulin yall..all N all..Im callin all..from the bay..to Boston..Dawg/
Kay..spray like A-K..N often Dawg..flows..be..exuastin yall..shinin blindin..flossin-off/
So sick..after I spit..niggaz..often-coughin tossin-off..throw salt..I bring season to..Beef/
I speak..spell releaf..W.E.E.D..pen a peice like..W.E.B..trouble-fools..when he speak/
See He..manefique..at-his-peak..he cant be beat..an he leave..niggaz swingin..like Honkeys N white-sheets/

get at me
 
Old 12-04-06, 11:55 AM   #2
Valiant
Human Crack in The Flesh.
 
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Posts: 840
From: Tower City
IP:

Ballerstatus....Meh, It's okay I give it a 7/10, better than anything i can do at the moment...
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Old 12-04-06, 12:25 PM   #3
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
IP:

I can't be part of more than one site or somethin? an thats some 3 min shit
 
Old 12-04-06, 12:38 PM   #4
K-awdik
Me my pencil n pad
 
Posts: 325
From: floduh
IP:

thats some shit. what the fuck is up with that hitler george bush shit. ahahahahahahqa
 
Old 12-04-06, 04:02 PM   #5
Truce
New to RV
 
Posts: 7
From: U.K
IP:

this isn't great to be honest :

- The lines were too long packing too many syllables into each bar, leaving your flow non - existent

- Topic was extremely dull, self - hype and gangsta talk are extremely played out and only appeal if they're delivered with originality

- Structure is very annoying, bars should never go all the way across the page, and the ......... do nothing

- on the positive side, you should some use of inners and a slight understanding of multis, but you could still improve a lot on both of these

Keep writing fam
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Old 12-05-06, 07:47 AM   #6
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
IP:

^^^I respect your opinon don't agree I read your rhyme theyre okay. Not understanding why I have to have your style to be good. it was just a intro rhyme.

Last edited by K Illa : 12-05-06 at 09:01 AM.
 
Old 12-05-06, 08:12 AM   #7
King Solo
Skadoosh!
 
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Posts: 17,012
IP:

I guess I can leave some feedback.


I'm guessing that you are from BallerStatus because like all the rest of them guys you are fucking writing an audio verse and trying to cop it off as a text verse.

Firstly, let me just say that the slashes at the end of your lines are straight gay to the maximum and the fact that you are using little dashes to link your multi rhymes is pathetic. Also, some of your stuff is fucking forced and that is just a sure sign that you need serious elevation.

As for the topic, lets face it, the gangsta self-glorifying shit talk wasn't even that cool when it was cool. Now though, it is fucking played out to the maximum and it just amuses me that people are still coming on here and dropping a bunch of "I'm the shit, I'm raw and dope, I'll kill you" type of bullshit verses. I don't care what that other dude said, you can come as original with it as you want and it will still be played.

The flow of this piece was average at best. Whilst you were using a lot of multies to try and maintain a maximum quality of flow, it didn't work. Some of your stuff came off choppy and needs a little rewording for it to work properly.

The key elements to a "TEXT" verse are shit like wordplay and punches if you are aiming to diss a person. In your case where you have taken a topic and put a verse to it then you should really be looking at complexity and a high level of vocabulary and imagery.

I get that you can't really go after either of those with a verse that is meant as an intro, but seriously, you shouldn't be dropping an intro because it is tired and played and nobody wants to see some internet thug coming on a website and acting like he's some sort of gangsta.


That is my feedback and you can reply with some bullshit shit talk attempt at riling me up saying you will crush me or whatever. The fact is I would stomp you out in less than a fucking second because the style you are using is the fucking style I out grew back in like 2004. But, if you feel the need to prove your internet gangsterism then just sign up to the LBL (RV's Text League) where some of your other BS buddies are battling and see if you can get high enough in the rankings to get a shot at me.

I highly doubt that will happen, your BS boys Enlightend and MoneyMaker can't seem to get high enough to challenge me, so I doubt you will.
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Old 12-05-06, 08:55 AM   #8
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
IP:

lets battle prove it on ya site
 
Old 12-05-06, 09:00 AM   #9
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
IP:

fuck a legue dude u not even that raw and I voted for u in a battle on baller status no body even likes me in baller status so what Im not claimin a site Im claiming me. It's like you all want people to have your exact same style. I got my style u got yours whats the problem
 
Old 12-05-06, 09:06 AM   #10
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
IP:

this aint even a gangsta rapper I don't talk about killin anyone were u gettin this fake thug shit from?
 
Old 12-05-06, 09:29 AM   #11
King Solo
Skadoosh!
 
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Posts: 17,012
IP:

^ Why are you talking to yourself ?
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Old 12-05-06, 11:49 AM   #12
Valiant
Human Crack in The Flesh.
 
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Posts: 840
From: Tower City
IP:

^^werd...Fo'real lol
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Old 12-05-06, 12:23 PM   #13
Ebircs
The Alien Toung
 
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Posts: 2,805
From: Harrisburg P.A
IP:

I thought this was pretty good for real....especialy from the text i usualy real here...who cares how dude structures his verse? and wtf @ saying "slashes are gay"? whys HE gota write his verse like yours? fuck outa here...I do agree tho, that some of it was fourced. thats the only complaint i got really....not everyone gota do the punch rap shit man..and who cares if it's self glorifying ? if everyone spit bout the same underground shit...THAT would be played, n the ONE positive thing ANYONE said bout dude was

"- on the positive side, you should some use of inners and a slight understanding of multis, but you could still improve a lot on both of these"

and THAT was typoed to make it look like he jus talking more shit LOL

K_dont take these kids to serious man....a lot of this is hate IMO...for no reason, and deff was not constructive IF it wasent hate. just like when nerds get mad when normal ppl know about star trec type shit man...."u are ALMOST CORRECT...HOWWWEVER ! in 1972 cptn kirts underware were BLUE, theirfor the samophlange in a nitomapoker would have PREVENTED such an occorence !!"

LOL
1ne
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Im not as much of a pimp as Ebircs.....man if you still with O.Y.D. You should branch off into O.H.D. into the porn business. With Owning Her daily. Ebircs....Biggest pimp on RV.
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Old 12-05-06, 12:33 PM   #14
K Illa
Banned: Pink Slipped
 
Posts: 171
From: Chicago
IP:

real talk son thanx for uppin Im used to haters
 
Old 12-05-06, 12:34 PM   #15
King Solo
Skadoosh!
 
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Posts: 17,012
IP:

I see that now I've made a challenge to you K Illa.. you are ignoring me.

LMFAO!! Somebody is feeling a little yella.. hhmmmm
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