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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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04-23-05, 12:33 PM
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#1
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in your system
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Untitled....first poem, yo
IP:
welcoming warmth, as if you matched dawn's style you hold a face which could brighten any day heart as pure as the newly formed dew in the morn and when the sun glistens softly, i see your smile as if two stars had been plucked, one placed in each eye sparkling brightly, even through the darkest hours could save a man, or lose him for a thousand years ive already experienced heaven and have yet to die endless beauty, with time only fueling the fire ever flowing hair, cascading down like waterfalls always perfect...even the howling wind is silenced and God himself would stop time, just to admire thoughts of an angel singing at the sound of your voice as mysterious as the unknown, the lure is overwhelming giving hope, which touches all dreams and lifts them high you wish to change, but knowing what others think..... would you make that choice?
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-23-05, 02:10 PM
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#2
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...
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IP:
i liked this keese good short n sweet n to the point nice drop ...now go check out my drop!
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time...  I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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04-24-05, 01:01 AM
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#3
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in your system
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IP:
^ worrrd, uppin
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-24-05, 01:29 AM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
feelin this drop dawg
nice vocab 2 |
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04-24-05, 07:47 AM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
This is an excellent poem, you just have such a nice writing style. The imagery and descriptions you used...whoa. I'm not joking over here, at first I thought oh no, again a mushy love poem but then you worded everything in such an excellent way. For instance the third part, with that hair like waterfalls. Vocab was on point, not too basic yet reader can understand everything. I absolutely love your ending as well, with the question "would you make that choice?". I really enjoyed reading this!
Solid piece! DQ
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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04-24-05, 12:24 PM
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#6
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IP:
yea ^ a greed. Your emotion was right on, and imigery was decisive. All in all I was mostly amped on the epicness of this poem. Good job m8/ Keep on keepn on.
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04-24-05, 01:54 PM
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#7
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...fuck life.
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IP:
i liked this piece...the rhyme scheme and message was nice and vivid...keep it up...rtf on any of my poems 2
-1 |
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04-24-05, 11:38 PM
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#8
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Light Weight
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IP:
Word thats how you doin things!
(LoL) I wanna colab w/ u.. Sweft
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<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> |
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04-24-05, 11:49 PM
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#9
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in your system
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IP:
Yay! i'd be up for it...get at me
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-24-05, 11:50 PM
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#10
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IP:
Werd bro, I'd be feeling this if I was armless, nice drop.. Good everything, all the metas were dope as fuck...
Hey, we should collab or something...haha, peace homie.. |
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04-25-05, 01:11 AM
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#11
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Light Weight
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IP:
yeah hit me up w/ subject or your part and I will write off ya..
Sweft
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<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> |
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04-26-05, 12:23 AM
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#12
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in your system
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IP:
uppin...........
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-26-05, 03:28 PM
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#13
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Divine Ascension
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IP:
dope. i liked this one. felt the woarmth and love u felt for this girl. well i assume its a girl. but anyways your descritiveness is great. i really got into this one. it was a genuine love poem and not the run of the mill mushy BS i liked that. keep it up
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 -Transcending The Heavens- I am before before... Before death is eternity, After death is eternity. There is no death, only eternity. And I be riding the wings of eternity...  ___________________________________________  3 Poems.:.3 Features.:.3 Weeks Consecutively I'm a Bad Man |
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04-26-05, 06:22 PM
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#14
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
Very well written poem here, you're vocabulary explained everything well, the feeling,you're emotion, it was on point throughout the piece....keep dropping.1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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04-27-05, 12:34 AM
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#15
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in your system
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IP:
thank y'all for the feedback......s'appreciated
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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