Make the font bigger. Good drop.

sweet man this is another tite drop dogg keep em cumin...(he learnt fro the mster<)lmfa...........................
your flow was nice with a dope structure.....................
wordplay was nice with complexed words...kinda like poem material man,
my best verse was the night one this was dope with a nice closer keep it up free......

........................pz

This was very good..your imagery was fantastic..your flow was nice..and your unique structures makes it easy to follow and read..you have outdone your other OM's..which is amazing...keep up the good work...^^

Very dope little piece...

I'm so fucking funny...I called it a little piece...little font, little piece! Get it!!!

But this was good.

The first stanza was, in my opinion, more poetic...
The rhyme scheme was a bit off for rap.
But it was really nice.

The 2nd and last stanzas are definately more rap.
I saw ya rhyme scheme fall into place...

Good imagery, kinda felt the emotion lacked even though ya kinda touched on it.

I'd have liked to know why you liked the sky so much aside from it's outward beauty...

Did you share the sky with someone, is that where you pray to, looking upward?

Shit like that would have been some nice background info...

But all around, this was pretty flawless for what it was...

A short, deep piece about The Sky.

Peace

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....Very good drop....the flow was good....

I agree this was another nice drop by you man....I really liked this piece.....You had real nice imagery in this like your last piece i read but i think this one was better...the flow was nice in this i thought, stayed on pretty well in it....The content was real nice as well i thought, pretty nice.....I like reading your stuff...keep dropping man

Damn Freeman. . My Fault It Took So Long. . But I Don't Have Long To Reply. . Imagery Was Fantastic, On A Penskills Level, Heh. . Content Was Great. . I Like How You Portrayed Each Part Of The Day. . First Verse Was A Little More On The Poetic Side. . You Had Rap Come Out In The The Last 2. . Like B2K Said. . Flow Was Lost On The Poet Verse. . Last 2 Had The Flow And Was Picked Up Easily. . Keep Droppin' Shit Like This Man. . I'm Definately Feelin' It. . . Pz.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...749#post1159749
^ ^ Return The Favor. . Thanks.

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nice drop
really small for me to read
but its all good
little more to the peotic side
of open mic.
but i liked the imagery, similies
metaphors and emotions
was a constant greatness.

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Aesop.

im gonna start with the obvious, the imagery, it was well expressed... and with the flow of it, it really came across well... and the level of wordplay didnt go overboard, as sometimes it does with alot of it combined with alot of imagery.... yeah good drop here.... one of your better ones ive read

Yo damn free this shit is ill............i love the imagery.......the telling of it was perfect i can almost picture for real..........a true work of art.......really.......good job.......easy to read easy to follow........i like the photographer as well!! good shit!!

This was a good read. Very easy to follw. Great flow. Great imagery. This was pretty ill. I've never read you before, but after this, I'll watch for you.

"The Sun collides with the horizon"-illness


"A mingled mass.. Shining array of pin-holes in the canvas of the sky"-the best line. That imagery is incredible. This line was crazy.

Keep up the good work.

Please drop feed in one of the links in my sig.

wow, like you swallowed a dictionary or something..that piece was like woah..
I like the Title, it left a blank canvas for your story to unfold, i don't like titles that give everything away.. (most of mine probably do!) it takes the mystery away..i loved it, keep it up, i wish i could say something that would be of more use to you but i guess you'll be satisfied with hearing that it was dope?

Cool piece ..
.. imagery was prolly its strong point .. seemed to have a sense of what good writing is, though that font size was gay = / .. Photographer verse was the standout, rest had potential there. Needs a little work on flow and multi's to really get it penned down i thought ..

Not bad though. >=)

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