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12-08-05, 12:16 PM | #1 | ||
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Invasion of disease
IP:
They are not wanted..
But enter in herds of millions Animal charecteristics.. Ugly, a disgrace to humanity Draining and painful.. Polluting our colourful streets A dull cloudy disgrace.. Removes childhood memorys Cant they stop now.. If only the authority existed Built border barriers.. If only the infection was removed Live long we would.. . . ..PATRIOTICALLY
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12-08-05, 07:04 PM | #2 | |
Light Weight
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IP:
Polluting our colourful streets
A dull cloudy disgrace.. perfect imagary.. i loved it
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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12-10-05, 06:16 PM | #3 | ||
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IP:
up................
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12-27-05, 12:15 PM | #4 | ||
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IP:
4 feedbacks atty
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12-27-05, 12:43 PM | #5 | |
1926
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IP:
Go reply to two piece man, I wont close it cuz I just asked you to post but ya... Just gotta keep this all circulating.
Hm, this was a very interesting piece. Very short which at first glance I was expecting to like because that short of an amount of lines is difficult to develop story in. But you did an excellent job in pronouncing your views and plot. I really liked the use of the word 'Disease' in the title because at first the piece does seem to be relatable to a pack of, almost lepors just invading... But later on, to me anyways, it seemed to be that this was a piece going after and attacks the means of politcal oppressions. Rather than just the surface value, 'Disease'. I could be wrong though. Very nice piece overall man. Thanks again for posting and please just go follow through and reply to two other piece and post the links. |
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12-27-05, 12:44 PM | #6 | ||
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IP:
Il get links now man,
and yeah the storyline is about immigrants.
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12-27-05, 12:52 PM | #7 | |
Banned: Biting
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IP:
Ill be leavind feed real soon.
Comps kinda fucked at the minute. |
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12-27-05, 12:53 PM | #8 | ||
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IP:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2592172
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2592177
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12-27-05, 03:00 PM | #9 | |
Banned: Biting
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IP:
word.
my favourite sort of poem. Short and straight to the point. I liked this, the title brought me in. Then the poem grabbed me instantly. A dull cloudy disgrace.. Removes childhood memorys ^^ I liked that part. Very nice poem indeed |
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12-28-05, 06:23 AM | #10 | ||
Odi et Amo
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IP:
Hmmmm, I'm not feeling the concept you worked with here but that is a personal opinion I suppose. I would've loved for this to be longer and more detailed so your opinion on this matter was portrayed even clearer. The piece had a direct vibe to it, quite good images in this short drop.
Solid
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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12-28-05, 07:59 PM | #11 | |
Poet's Daughter.
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IP:
Daubs, hmm I see your starting Poetry, well your doing well. I don't like the concept. But your point of view towards the Topic is good, I liked your imaginary. it's very Complex. Ok the vibe i got from your poem was kinda abstract to me, a little blurr, but you went straight to the point towards the end. Cool keep it up and write more.
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12-31-05, 04:36 AM | #12 | |
Can u guess 2v's Gender?
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IP:
It was ight but keep it up man thats good shit fam.
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