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10-17-07, 11:32 PM | #1 | |
New to RV
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Suicide
IP:
I just wrote this real simple peice but let me know what ya'll think
This may be the last time I ever write Sitting here in this dark, wet room starting to feel the cold bite My only thoughts are of my troubled past, how much longer will my life last As I sit here contemplating death, my minds made up I take my last breath Lift the gun and put it to my head, this is the moment I thought I would dread But instead it comes as a relief, only 16 my life was brief Why is it no-one cares, will anybody shed a tear |
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10-18-07, 12:42 AM | #2 | ||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP:
if u shot urself, how did u finish the poem?
damn..u a tricky mo fucka
__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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10-18-07, 03:23 AM | #3 | |
New to RV
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IP:
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10-19-07, 02:23 AM | #4 | |
New to RV
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IP:
It's nice cuz, but needs more emotion.....
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10-19-07, 07:17 AM | #5 | |||
aka.liltekk
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IP:
Quote:
same what he says i got tha same problem but keep writin an you will get it soock up all tha advice you can get |
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10-19-07, 08:16 AM | #6 | ||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP:
pretty much, emotion and imagery is what u need for poetry. and actual meaning.
__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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10-19-07, 10:34 AM | #7 | |
New to RV
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IP:
thanks keep the advice comin
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