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08-11-05, 10:25 PM | #1 | ||
New to RV
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Rest.. Please leave me something..
IP:
I got the idea about posting this song about my cat from debatos about his dog..
its picturing shit so leave feed if u can.. i probly wont expand on it, but this is an open mic.. let me no what u think.. Its long, so if u dont read it all.. comment on what u got so far please Its called Rest and its about my cat Oscar.. **If u use this shit against me thats some reall pussy shit.. but do what u gotta do i guess Chorus Another dance up followed by some shame all the happy times things will never be the same we wanna MEet you for one more dayy wee. have to GREet some other way i really need you its time to play i hope you hear the words we pray Youll never be forgotten see the words im droppen are from the heart that you came and basical-ly shot in i think you were my best friend as a matter of fact and comprehend the amount of missin. our love aint stoppin I remember the day, our brother was away he was your mentor you meant more than anything he used to say.. when he was gone u came up in my room and tried to play.. i was sleepin so you jumped up on the bed and started to lay enough for me to awake, but just so you wouldnt leave i pretended to sleep it was fake Every peice of card-board-mom tried to throw away.. i went to get a knife and always tried to make a little home for you to en-joy and sleep in current-ly im a weepin.. constantly dreamin hopin your death was just a dream when daddy told me you died i started to scream i couldnt imagine my brother yell when you he had seen curled up in his drum set, ida died if i seen you bleed Nothing but your passin away meant anything.. to me i had you for 14 years how else you think i should be.. shoot.. we bought you when i was twoo.. the first thing i ever remember was the day that we got you. i remember it exact.. dont tell me im wrong its a fact.. we went to some ladies shack where she had hundreds of cats for me to repeat this story its bringin tears cuz its sad but that day i was glad.. i could never for-get that you were the brand new toy that i had.. we attempted your name out of a bag.. or out of hat.. one of the two its hard to imagine that overall i picked your name.. it was my choice happenin then as a baby i musta been clappin.. nowadays any specific occasion is ener-gy to be rappin See when you left it was some sad sh** i wrote you a poem long thought instead of quick slips off a the dome.. i wish you had known.. but i never coulda predic-ted you bein gone it was so random so all the good-byes were away long i want you to come back one more day to hear this song cuz its all about you.. how much i loved you some people abuse their pets but i aint even shoved you i hugged you. over and over trying tricks for treats i couldnt beat you- so verb-ally, to you id speak to try to get in deep, with your little skittle thoughts kit-n-kaboodle i bought you i remember you loved nothing more than food.. if we neglected for too much time when we brought it u would reject it just to get your mess-age clearly understood i would if i could, institantly change places you should have a whole life while mines just played phases for some time wed play spaces, sprinT chases to bases Box Fight-in!... Wed PLay this! I cant easily SAY this! But i RepeAt the PHRAses! I hate this! When you Gonna come back again You were my best one.. Forever Friends till the End Chorus Another dance up followed by some shame all the happy times things will never be the same we wanna MEet you for one more dayy we have to GREet some other way i really need you its time to play i hope you hear the words we pray Sing/Rap When you diedd, my heart.. leaked and blead.. but for yoouuu.. i replaced pain with you inside instead (talking) this is the poem i mentioned earlier, see what i said (reciting with rhythm/beat) When i was in you were there. When i was out.. you were waiting. Whether you loved me like i love you im still debating You would lay down, I would too You would walk away i would too You couldve been agrivated but i just loved you When my dad picked me up, i thought of a surprise Instead, he told me the news that shed tears right out of my eyes. I have nothing else to express, no words to hear, just tears to seize To Oscar ------ We all love you.. Rest In Peace..
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The best things in life are Phree..
PHREE NAPDIZZLE Current Battles - (leave some feed) |
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08-11-05, 11:06 PM | #2 | ||
Banned: Cheating
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IP:
Structure was fucked dog, when u post try and get all the words to end like this
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah nah mean?.......emotion was tight......could up on vocab fa real doe.......nice concept i was fellin it........just keep elevatin and postin.....rtf please |
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08-11-05, 11:23 PM | #3 | ||
Semper Fi
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IP:
it was long as fuck but the song was nice...Had emotion in it. Vocab was on point and like dude above me said just work on your Structure.......RTF on my Freestyles in the Freestyle section and my open mic No Snitchin
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Project List The Classick Mixtape Vol (8/18) Age Of Consent Mixtape Vol 1(16/16) The Classick Album(2/16) S&S Express E.P.(1/10) Lot of back to back shit. Stay tuned. |
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08-12-05, 01:58 AM | #4 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
Good looks.. thanks for the feed.. i def. improved on the structure n all that.. thats an old song i had on my computer.. cant decide if i want to retouch it or not.. but i see every off point in it.. its hard tho cuz its such an emotional, informational song that everything in it seems to important to cut out to keep the rhythm of it.. but thanks again.. i see the bad points n will keep eyes out for your shit.. and my future shit.. peacee
__________________
The best things in life are Phree..
PHREE NAPDIZZLE Current Battles - (leave some feed) |
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08-13-05, 10:40 PM | #5 | ||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP:
fealin that.........and they gave u good feed so just pay attention to that.....1
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08-15-05, 05:20 AM | #6 | ||
©
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IP:
Yep feelin it......had some nice emotions in it and vocab was aight too.
Onli thing that was off,was ya structure but u said that u are going to improve that. Keep it up n u will get better!!!!! Plz rtf on the OM in my sig plz!!!! |
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