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03-07-04, 07:32 PM | #1 | ||
yawn
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Plea to Kill
IP:
I shall sheath this blade, This long grown hatred for myself and others.
I shall forget about what goes on now, and what could happen later. I shall forget about you, him, and the bindings you left me in. I shall forget the shadows i have lived in for these years and those to come. I shall step out from the cloak I presented my self to live in. My void is natural, You have filled yours with your god, But it remains empty still. You have just as much faith as i do, Just as much hate as i do. No matter your name, No matter your blood, Your anger grows the same as mine. You lives crumble as easy as mine. How you hide it is a different epic. Brew it up as you must, Spit it in my face if you will, Tangle it with poisoned and twisted messages. Leave your burdens with me. It will Only make me live longer. I write this message in blood for those who find it, I write it to those who spilt this blood. I am left on my knees begging forgiveness from a council of Vampires. Alone in this cavern of Vengeance. One way out, Through you, Through him, Through all of your wasted lives. |
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03-08-04, 08:15 PM | #2 | ||
yawn
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IP:
can i get some feedback up in here?
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do your research. |
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03-13-04, 09:50 PM | #3 | ||
yawn
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IP:
Cmon people... I wanna know if i can post some more of my scriptures up on here... Get some feedback and ill post some more.
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do your research. |
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03-23-04, 12:45 AM | #4 | ||
yawn
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IP:
well fuck this if noone responds to poetry. Got a shitty thread goin here.
__________________
do your research. |
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03-23-04, 04:25 AM | #5 | ||
....Trunks R 4 Bodies....
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IP:
yo that shit was hot
but were you angry of something one love.......... |
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03-23-04, 03:53 PM | #6 | ||
yawn
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IP:
Yeah most of my poetry is angry or depressive i guess. Nothing good to write about in my mind.
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do your research. |
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03-23-04, 05:16 PM | #7 | ||
....Trunks R 4 Bodies....
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IP:
feel you dog.......
one love...... |
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03-23-04, 07:29 PM | #8 | ||
RV SPOTLIGHT, GET AT ME!
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IP:
that was cool, definitely dark, do you write alot of poetry.
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I had to get a new couch, but as you can see the fun continues! A.I.
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03-23-04, 09:35 PM | #9 | ||
yawn
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IP:
Yep I'll post another... in a sec
__________________
do your research. |
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03-29-04, 09:59 PM | #10 | ||
yawn
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IP:
uppin
__________________
do your research. |
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04-06-04, 05:34 PM | #11 | ||
yawn
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IP:
-cough-
__________________
do your research. |
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04-07-04, 07:04 PM | #12 | ||
O.wning Y.ou D.aily
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IP:
^^^lol.........That was some pretty dark shit, none the less, it was pretty good. Keep it comin!
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04-07-04, 07:19 PM | #13 | |
...
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IP:
wow, that was actually decent.
why are you on rb relaunched? yeesh my main criticism is that your repeated the same beginning for a good chunk of the piece...it would have been nice if you varied it up a bit. Said the same thing in different ways instead of the repetition. "My void is natural, You have filled yours with your god, But it remains empty still. " fucking dope line, in itself it represents the insecurities that lead to total faith, when in fact the faith reperesents nothing. I'm not going to delve into this too deeply, but it was nice.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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04-07-04, 09:06 PM | #14 | ||
yawn
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IP:
I would be up on old RB, I just wanted to get shit hoppin here. This is one of my older pieces. I know the repetition is a little bad, But i don't really like to change my writings afterwords. Thanks for the feedback.
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do your research. |
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04-09-04, 10:36 AM | #15 | ||
New to RB
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IP:
LOL...Again another tight write but dark. I just peeped what you said about not changing your style of poems, but I must say it would be interesting to see a poem thats not dark or depressing.....But then again I guess at the end of the day you gotta be yourself....Continue to flow!!
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