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08-03-04, 03:36 PM | #1 | ||
New to RB
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Your Pain Is My Pain
IP:
Your Pain Is My Pain
Something about you being hurt, Makes me wanna lift the tears from your eyes… Makes me wanna change the world to your advantage, So you would never cry… Makes me wanna do everything in my power, To make the hurt die… Makes me wanna give you wings to escape, So my angel could fly… Makes me wanna sacrifice myself, To keep you alive… Makes me wanna hand you the moonlight in a jar, So I could brighten your life… Makes me wanna defeat your struggles, So I don’t have to witness watering eyes But, it seems to do you no good, The harder I try… But only because it seem as if I am the biggest part of your life, Would I grab the clouds, To soak the tears from under you eyes… And only if you faded from this earth, To the heavens and died, Would I hang on to great memories, Until my time to soar through the skies… And only because I care for you, Do I pray for the discontinuation of your family fights… But really, I just want to keep you happy and our love alive Because your pain is my pain and when you cry, I cry…. |
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08-03-04, 04:48 PM | #2 | ||
New to RB
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IP:
damn....i was really feeling that....much props to u writing that, felt the emotion and loved trhe whole set up of the poem...keep it up. 1
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~In life theres a reason you laugh twice as much as you cry~ ~Cuz it may be hard to live, but twice as easy to die~ -Mizz Undastood |
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08-03-04, 10:14 PM | #3 | ||
the girl people love to hate
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IP:
i love this poem sooo much! it was beautiful. it reminded me of my relationship with my boyfriend so much. this was just sooo beautiful. there is nothing I would change about it
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i dont make the list. dont get mad at me. i just make the hits like a factory -Jay-Z like The Gooch Disappear...vamoose...you're wack to me take them rhymes back to the factory -Notorious B.I.G |
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08-04-04, 09:22 AM | #4 | ||
New to RB
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IP:
thank you
i was thinking about revising it but i keep getting postive feedback so keep tha feedback comin |
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08-04-04, 07:49 PM | #5 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
That was some real shit, much props 2 u.
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[COLOR=DarkGreen]Tha 617 King |
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08-04-04, 08:48 PM | #6 | ||
Vendetta the K.O. King
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IP:
Good lookin. Ya - word - good poem, there was alot I liked in this too. Strong topic, and some real nice emotion flowin. Mos Def one of the best I peeped in a minute. Hope to see more from you, as this was pretty excellent. peep my first poem up in here. peace
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08-04-04, 09:20 PM | #7 | ||
New to RB
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IP:
lol thank you....this was a very touchy topic for me
based on true story based on real emotions so it wasnt hard to write but yeah ima start writing all my poems like this thanx fa tha feedback |
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08-06-04, 09:41 AM | #8 | ||
New to RB
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IP:
uppin
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08-13-04, 03:28 PM | #9 | ||
Flyweight
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IP:
wow I am a girl and if someone would have wrote that to me, I would have cryed just cause u felt that strongly about me. Its really good, keep it up! And u really should send it to the girl u meant it for, she'll like it! Smile i'm out
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So what chicks can rap too/ you just won't battle me cause i can beat u/ Respect List: AKA (down, and keepin it real) KoObOo (A true friend wouldn't be the right words) The Disciple (mmmm Tight probbly wouldn't be the word) lol Tony Montana (thiz my main boi for rapping) Ciara Myst (hey if u cant beat em', join em') phatom (he jus got skill) LivenLegend ( thiz my friend for life) fluidmoon (she got ova half ya'll beat) |
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08-22-04, 05:14 PM | #10 | ||
New to RB
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IP:
thanx fa tha feed back
i did give it to her and she cried...lol can i get more feedback |
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