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Old 01-18-07, 10:24 PM   #1
skeptikal
New to RV
 
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Posts: 22
From: Illinois
skeptikal - untitled free write.

IP:

and I know you got the most beautiful eyez -
could only be compared to the most bluest of skyz -
you always hurt me when your out with other guyz -
the rich ones with there expensive suits n' tiez -
if you could only see past this spreading disease -
that fame and money our the keys to make us happy -
then you would be peacefully living your life free -
outside the magazine image and elogance the scene brings -
so live with me, 'cause natures beautys clean -
filled with pretty colors of green where the birds sing -
and i mean, you can be what ever you want to be -
anything you can think of, you can can always be -
even if you think it's impossible, and could never be -
give it time, and you'll see the possibility -


Wrote pretty quick. Feedback appreciated.



pm me when you have your two links and i iwll reopen this
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Last edited by Willa : 01-18-07 at 11:01 PM.
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Old 01-18-07, 10:48 PM   #2
GREVISS
Flyweight
 
Posts: 112
IP:

you need two links, heres a piece of mine rtf
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239072

its not bad for a quick key, you managed to cover a lot,
but i think that it was a little random, and it sort of had
a poetry feel to it...not sayin it is...but it felt better just
talkin the script instead of tryin to put a beat to it, i think
more consistant internals would be cool, cos most of the
was end rhyme...but still its ight for a quick key and i look
forward to reading a more concentrated drop from you...
stay up fam...and dont forget to get your links...peace
 
 


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