http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=100411
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=100399
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=100290

A single slingshot releasing but one rock that brought down a nigga at 12 o'clock/
Ghosts stare on in horror, shock, burning round the bend i see the cops/
Slowly mixing with the flock, i hide behind a group of older women/
Blood pressure swimming above the norm, i feel the urge to change, transform/
As i see the stunts ahead i must preform, keep on running till the sirens die/
Jumping over bins and atop the cars beneath the sky like a bird i fly/
Knowing in my minds eye not to look behind for fear that their more near than sounds imply/
Legs collapse under the weight of money strangers staring funny as i try to hide/
i will not give in and lose my pride, i will not surrender my existence to F.B.I/
All crimes previously commited have been denied, hunted like a deer, known worldwide/
Impossible to stop though limbs are bleeding truth i am succeeding in the mission/
heart misleading i outrun the opposition turning up the last ignition as i hear guns fire/




Chorus
You can not hide forever, in this misery of life
Technology improving one day they'll find you
Only one step ahead barely escaping the sharpest knife
They will focus, and they'll catch you in their veiw


tell me your veiws..thinking of making a song of it..

can i get some feed on this pleez???

This was good i thought....i wouldnt mind reading the full song if you make one....the flow was pretty good in this i thought, stayed on through out it....vocab was alright, could be up'd....the chorus was good i thought as well...overall this was pretty good....keep at it.

..I like this..I had 'fun' reading this piece..your wordplay was right on point..and like ^ said..I;m looking forward to the 'full' song...if you follow up on it..it;s well worth it..

yeah..i'm gonna rewrite the verses tonight and post the full version up tomorrow..i thought the title was a work of art myself..roflmmfbsrao...thanks for the support..yeah..i'd like to turn this to audio..but i don't think my voice would sound too good..maybe someone else could make it..

dont re write it

it was good for a first open mic

i like it you have potential and i say you should roll with us
go check out the tryouts

its pretty good. i like it

nice verse and chorus..........chorus needs work though,make it more indepth.......lol, i dont know what im talking bout.....good structure, ok vocab, could elevate with that.....hmmm, good piece

__________________
MC Murdera'

(RB's "ill" MCs)


Otherwise known as Artikulate

ah man, i am feelin you. This shit was a masterpiece, i loved it. Nice drop keep on flowin.