In these times.....I stay addicted to rhyme
Lyrics stay on my mind... threaten to hate on my grind
See me, I was a soldier... I slung that coca...
Pistol with no holster... my vida loca...
Plus I was pumpin obscene amounts of that green...
Gave it to my nigga's dirt cheap they stayed on my team...
The white was a different story.. all work and no glory...
Multiplied my money for me... but I let it control me...
Fourteen years old.... got the game from my O.G....
Too bad he was my dad.... rather use me then hold me....
Not saying I need to be held.... I need to be felt...
I'm doing what I can with the cards the good Lord dealt...
I never been a gangsta... Rolled solo for delf...
Kept my product in my safe bolted down to my shelf....
Stayed dipped in fits... High School I was the Shit...
Moving "P's" in zips.... Flipped the money so quick...
Momma told me... You'll be a man some day...
You gotta get out these streets... I thought I found my way..
Older nigga's respected me... they wanted to own me...
Tried they best profit from the game that they showed me....
With eyes wide... I made my moves quicker than time flies.....
At the same time... developed a thirst for limelight...
Started out as the kid with the clothes.. smooth with the hoes..
Turn to the kid with the dro.... sick with the flow...
Signed to my first label... such a tender age... seventeen
Ready to slay the world... cause the flow was so clean..
Made my first drops... to this day I still get props...
But lack of funds and loyal ones... exactly what made my click drop..
I went from sugar to shit... shows and trips...
Dro and Chicks... back to the street grinding for chips..
But this time the streets wouldn't welcome me... It hurt
Wasted so much time making my money machine work...
Then suddenly... My world got flipped... it was beserk
My girl had a secret for me when she came home from work..
I was a father.. soon to give birth to a baby daughter...
I ran from reality... now it finally caught up...

This just the beginning.. you want more than let me know...
I'll take you through the years to now from when I was 18 years old.

I responded to:
the slim thug diss
Nuclear concept (wp's thread)
Nuclear concept(spike sanders thread)

what a story, not bad but you can cut down on the dots. a faster pace would have been better and it was a good way to tell the story.

__________________
It doesnt matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart

- michael jordan

I am gonna be what i wanna be, but not just what i wanna be but what i am.

- 2hot2handle(myself)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^thank you kindly^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Up up and Away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

interesting piece here.. nice n expressive... good to see writing from real life... the flow was a bit wierd... but it stayed on.... vocab was a bit basic... but didnt really think it needed it..so... yeah,, good drop....pZ

^^^^-One Love Son-^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Check the soundclick.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/4/thehunsmusic.htm

Yeah this was alright i thought.....your structure was good through out the piece i thought....flow was alright, it stayed on through out it as well, didnt really get off....vocab was ok, it could be up'd a bit though...but overall this was alright piece....keep at it.

^^^^^^^I can dig it.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I strayed away from trying to be too deep or complex with the flow. I know it is seen as a testament to true ability but my main purpose was to give cats a lil insight on the life I have led. Whether cats believe it or not. Thank you for the feedback.

What? You nigga's ain't feeling the kid?
Man... Uppin this shit for the feedback.
Holla at cha boy...... King of the Huns nigga!
Nah, let me know what ya'll think. I see you lookin.
Just tell me if you love it or hate it.

here is some feed and dont think im hating dog

vocab was elementary
flow was decent
multies enhanced this piece well
imagery coulda been better
metaphors were straight
topic not bad actually i enjoyed it
overal this was decent keep it up and shit

peace

this was a decent piece was feeling the flow.. pretty good.. could of been better... could see it being a good audio.. keep spitting..
elevate 1

__________________

Music is all about expression.
i try to kee it simple because even though it is written
and everyone has the time to figure it out, it shouldn't be that way.
Music shoud be easily translated to the soul.
Big words, complexity, don't make an emcee.
I'ts possible for me, but I find it distasteful.
It's like trying to speak with culture and you have none.
I write rhymes the way I speak.
Not the way I think I should spit so everyone thinks it's tight.
And I don't rap to try to say the hardes shit to say.
it's all about expression. If you could picture the story as you read it, then I accomplished my goal.
*A little insight on my thinking*

Up up up................................................
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good piece man. i liked it...........flowed real well-- u have a real talent with words. i was really feelin u on this one. this isnt for my own open mic so im not just typin somebullshit so ic an use your link..just given some quick feed. good job