Replied to:
Sphere
ak-mixa
scott free

Its a ghostown in the ghetto's belly listsning to da same medley/
To scared to understand reality's perspective, silently intercepted/
children of the grave been neglected in this jungle so infected/
With diseases that tear lives into puzzle pieces, affected/
By the "systems's" curriculum, blinded everytime i see da sun/
no light around the section, blocked by the industry's gun/
Polluting and contributing the toxic rock dat got me on da run/
miles turning into years by the minutes, shocked and stunned/
So stone cold i feel this soul fading away till i'm done/
everyday be da same in this locked up cage i call home/
no way in our existance shall we find our throne/
Stuck to live like a dog grinding a bone like mckaly, alone/
Soon, this cyclone will devour our lives, nothin nice/
the holders of the torch are like lice, taking over our dome/
take no prisoners, so i rome, the medusa wana turn me to stone/
Evil people dwell in this retched hell, urine smell casts a spell/
around da society, white variety destined to overail us, da snail/
slowly we still dying in a beast's stomach turnin pale/
the scum of the earth, we set sail to anotha tomorrows mail/
hope that this has gone through your head farther than a tale/

This was alright i thought.....your structure was pretty good in this, some lines could be touched up a bit though i think....try using some multies though to help it out....vocab in this was ok, it could be up'd though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

nice shit dawg, i felt that shit, good job

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