Replied to:
10 min keystyle by Doctor Ill
My life: You strong enough?! by Ape
World Without Reason by Snakeyes

I have to turn this in as an assignment for school. I know it needs work, but please be honest. And don't just tell me the structure needs work. Enjoy!


In a trailer park on the borderline of Detroit
lived a cursed family... a mother and two boys
the first born burst into the underground rap scene
while the second stayed home with the worst thing in things
Debbie with her smoky naps and her drug injecting
The rapper made a name for himself... a name above men
which later he would use to proclaim his game... he was called Eminem
the rapper was a ten when he wrote the unsuccessful Infinate
which he penned when he was jobless and hopeless in the ditches
he continued underground until his fuckn' voice was found
and he would rebound when at the rap olympics he would be sound
int he last round he almost had first place
but he slipped up and lost... standing in frozen frost like a disgrace
even though the white kid with the mike took home second
I reckon later that day he would get a phonecall
Dre was enthralled by whitties ability to battle
Dre was in a small squall when his last record flopped
so when Shady crawled in... he had to take the shot
The plot got thicker when Shady signed on the dot
So this is the famous "rags to riches" story we all know
from a fuckn' rapper who grows through the flow
I love this guy and fuckn' aspire to be in his shoes
because being a white rapper is no excuse to lose

the basic content,, what you was saying was ok....but the way you delivered it was too basic....where's the internals n multis....bring more complexity in....i mean you are writtin bout eminem...lol.....return the favour on......transition to greed...pZ

wheres the 3 links that your supposed to post in your open mic, before it gets deleted??

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I put the names of the people at the top. I usually dont leave links. Just names.

..I'm not feeling this at all..your topic is boring..your flow is weak..your wordplay is also weak..

Names are fine to leave.

But this was alright...structure in this could have been better, just try to touch it up, some of your lines were kinda stretched out there a bit i thought....try adding some multies to this...vocab was ok....but overall this was alright....keep at it.

wtf@eminem? isnt that dickriding?

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^^no dummie...its a Project Stupid.......................

Overall it wuz iight....Pretty Informative.......Though its to simple tha Way u said ya lines..........though i understand cuz its a school report

Overall it wuz good..

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<table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>/\...Corrupted Visions.../\</table>



<center><select><option>Ripped</option><option>Eki(5-0)</option><option>Aero(5-0)</option><option>Rule(5-2)
</option><option>TheUnderRated(5-1)
</option><option>Origin-Ill(5-2)</center></select><center><select><option>ThrownBack</option><option></option><option></option><option></center></select>

this was ok......KuZ ya Flow was alright and ya used it good and ya structure worked out Pretty Well.....so ya have a lil Potential but Make Ya Topics That You Relate to Not One about Some One else well thats wast i think anyway.....so ya Vocab could Use Some work but still Nice man Ya Use this topic well.......so this was alright could uya Hit Up any one Of My Open Mics In My Topic.....Consider this Upped...PeacE...

Why Are You Writing About Eminem? We've All Heard His Story Anyway, This Piece Was Lacking Complexity and Overall Hotness... Work on It

HAHAHAHAHHA yOU WROTE AN OPEN MIC ON EMINEM!!!!!?!?!??!?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA....That cat is cool wit it yo!...

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hey I got a question.

are you one of those obcesed fan who be dighing their hear and trying to his ass. standing in front of the mirrior withh a fake mic, a hoody, and acting like you in the middle of an 8mile scene?

you shouldn't write about other artists...... but it was an assignment........ ill let you off the hook

Lmao @ the stan-Im guessing youre next open mic will be a tribute to tupac?

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Soft focus

Whats the point of living?

The voices in my head Feat. Rule

Unlikely Alias

More Comming soon!

Hey.....yeah that was pretty stupid....if I was your teacher I'd give you an F, that was just dumb, but dont give up, you need mad work so keep trying!

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I'm gonna get you punch drunk from drinking the punch from the back of the lunch truck and it'd be some dumb luck if I called you a dumb fuck and you lost your footing and fell like you was me...a drunk duck! -Yung Native '03'