![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
|
Guest
|
ahhh shit
IP:
i leave harm
like dog bites in arms with no barks sending u back like rosa parks i dont feel the need to speak before i act i dont got a social contract like karl marx fuckin up programs like stalin and never backin down from crews that are callin when im brawlin on the mic dont be a dyke chewin up the carpet actin like you can start shit it seems like nowadays the industrys like a wack mc market come and write a rhyme 2 for 3.99 |
|
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Word.
|
IP:
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
Well.....all i really need to say is elevate here...but...just work on your stuff like your structure...keep your lines the same length and make the shorter lines longer....add better multies to this and internals...and up your vocab...but keep at it. |
||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
swift chancellor
|
IP:
Yeah, i agree with Masta C. Work on your structure definitely, it has to be even. Multis would be a dramatic improvement, Vocab of course, less obvious rhyme choice. If you keep writing you'll definitely get better, good luck elevating.
__________________
tobacco pipe smoker escobar, your life is over justify the righteous nova bullets flew out his right shoulder Last edited by Meters : 12-29-03 at 07:52 PM. |
|
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Registered User
|
IP:
do what they say
|
||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
Guest
|
IP:
this was an alright spit, but kinda average. Some of the shit u said was played out, and ur vocab was very basic and could use approvement. Also like every1 else said, work on the structure. U should write longer lines then that.
~1~ |
|
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|