Replied to:

Masta C
Krytical
deuce deuce


Have had a rough day because I keep getting stared at
I wanna hop into the fuckn' jeep and drive into a tree
but I can't 'cause too many people would be mad at me
my mom would weep and put herself the fuck asleep
so my concience has been bothering me lately
To do? Or not to do? That is the fuckn' question
I decided I won't try the fuckn' dying method
Instead, I'll pop these pills in until I get the chills
Being mellow will give me better Skillz and a thrill
My undereyes will turn purple and yellow, I'll sleep
and my arms will feel like jello, fast into me it will creep
Then once that stuff has made it's way through me
It's more than enough to drink these bottles of beer
I'm all cheered up now and my system's all clear
I feel the small squall twisting in me uppin here
my stomach feels weird and I'm in fuckn' fear
What if I die by accident, people will probably cheer
then the shit won't be my fuckn' fault, ya'll pissed me off
So goodbye for now, I'll be better tommorrow

Yo,
It was kinda rough, and kinda simple, the complexity of it wasn't to up there you know, but all in all I'd say it's a pretty good verse man.

i was feelin it it was nice

__________________
JR.delinquents

thanks my love

..I think you keeping this simple was a good idea..it flowed well..although it could've been a little more complex..but as simple as it is...it's alright..

Yeah this was ok i thought.....your structure in this was pretty good through out the piece....the flow in this was pretty good, it stayed on through out the piece, it didnt really get off at all...you had some alright vocab...could use some more multies though...simple though but keep at it.